The things no one is telling you about narcissists is that they are masters of disguise. They pretend to be someone they are not, and thus the person dating a narcissist won’t know what’s happening to them until it’s all too late. Until they are left broken-hearted and alone and so emotionally drained that they are unable to pick themselves up and continue with their lives. The victim of the narcissist will need an immense amount of time to heal because the abuse they have experienced has serious repercussions.
The person who was involved with a narcissist has lost their sense of self-esteem and self-worth.
They are completely lost and agonized. Their self-esteem is very low or non-existent. The narcissist has managed to take away their dignity and sense of worth they had for themselves.
The person who was involved with a narcissist may be afraid, emotional, and highly vulnerable all the time.
The effects of dating such a toxic person are so intense that the victim won’t be able to hide them. The narcissist will leave the victim feeling afraid of everyone that approaches them. Every little thing about the victim, the way they carry themselves, their eyes, their smile… everything will give away their extreme vulnerability due to their past wounds.
The person who was involved with a narcissist will smile only occasionally (if they have to).
They will lose their smile during the relationship with a narcissist. During the aftermath of that relationship, they will still not know how to smile because they haven’t been happy for a long time. The narcissist has taken away their smile and their zest for life.
The person who was involved with a narcissist will refuse to talk about what has happened to them.
If a person has never had the experience of dating a narcissist, they can’t understand the things that happen to the victims of narcissistic abuse. If you are one of them, congratulations – you dodged a bullet. Sadly, they didn’t. They fell for the narcissist that was promising them all kinds of different things and then abused them in unimaginable ways. Understandably, they would stop themselves from talking about what has happened to them because they don’t want to be judged.
The person who was involved with a narcissist isn’t recovering from a heartbreak; they are recovering from warfare. Therefore…
They will not be able to heal from what has happened to them so easily.
They will need a lot of time to heal and get over the narcissist. They need someone patient that will understand them. The thing is, they do want to feel better more than anything in the world, but they don’t know how.
They need constant reassurance that you won’t hurt them.
They forgot how it is to love and be loved back. They forgot how it is to not be afraid of giving their heart to someone. They forgot how it feels to not be anxious all the time and expect bad things to happen. That’s why she needs someone who will keep telling them that the worst is over and that they will be there for them. They need someone that will reassure them that they will never leave them and hurt them as the narcissist did.
They have trusting issues and therefore, they will need time before they decide to love again.
They have learned the hard way to not trust anyone because the one person they loved the most has made their life a living hell. Love is also something they fear. Because, what they once thought love is, turned out to be the toxic drug that made them addictive to their tormentor.
The recovery process won’t be easy…
They will have mood swings frequently. One day, they will want to be alone and they will become guarded, and the next day they will need your love more than anything. If you love them, prove to them that you understand them and that you will be there for them always. Show them they are not alone and that you two together can overcome any obstacles.
…but it will be worth it.
It is not their fault that they were hurt like that. They were a great person before they got stuck into the narcissist’s web of lies and manipulations and they couldn’t find their way out. But they will heal and this experience will humble them and make them even better and more loving.