Narcissists are known as the most manipulative people alive. Their one main goal in life is to take advantage of the people in their lives and use them as objects to get the things they want. Until they finally get them and they have no use of you.
Their methods are ruthless. Their world is cruel. To them, it is nothing more than just a playground for playing their vicious and manipulative games. Until they get what they want. And you are no longer needed.
And if there is one thing that you need to know about them is that they never give up. Narcissists are very persistent in what they do. That is why they always succeed in their cruel missions. It is their goals that drive them and move them forward. And it is the very thought of being above anyone else that keeps them alive.
There are many aspects of a relationship with a narcissist that you need to always be on the lookout for. However, one of them is particularly important. And that is leaving them. When you choose to leave a narcissist and let go of everything once and for all, you need to have in mind that narcissists do not give up easily.
You may think you’ve finally finished the chapter and you are far away from all the pain and suffering, but the truth is, that doesn’t happen so easily. One of the most dangerous and manipulative methods of narcissists is convincing you that you are making a mistake.
They usually do this by unexpectedly showing up after some time and trying to suck you back into their lives. It starts by simply checking on you. But then as time passes and they get closer and closer to you, they become your friends. They begin to tell you what they’ve been through ever since you two slip and how much losing you actually changed them. And pretty soon, they are right there where they once were. On their knees, begging you for a second chance.
This method is known as hoovering. And it is something that you must find a way to resist. For their intentions are always the same, no matter how much they claim that they’ve changed.
According to Psych Central, “Hoovering could come in the form of an “innocent” text checking up on you, a missed phone call, a pleading voicemail, e-mails, an “accidental” run-in at places you frequent or even via third party contact. It can even be orchestrated by provocation: sneakier narcissists can hoover indirectly by posting lies about you, anticipating that you’ll respond defensively or by manufacturing scenarios in which you’re likely to come into contact.
Rest assured, hoovering is a power play, not an indication that the narcissist actually values you. As one narcissism expert puts it.”
Unfortunately, not every person out there is strong enough to resist getting sucked into the narcissist world once again. Many survivors of narcissistic abuse are often left too insecure and vulnerable to make the right decision and so their emotional state often makes it easier for the narcissist to successfully regain control over them. Hoovering helps them get close to you. And as soon as they get under your skin once more, you are at risk of giving in because, at that moment, the narcissist has you as a hostage.
It’s not easy to successfully avoid them and protect yourself from falling down that rabbit hole once again, but I want you to know that it’s not impossible. No matter how week, insecure and vulnerable you feel. You just have to remember that you are the only creator of your life. You are the only person that gets to decide what you do with it.
You shouldn’t be afraid to justify yourself to this person. Most importantly, you shouldn’t be afraid to stand up for yourself even if that means seeking legal action or similar severe precautions. Just remember that as long as you know your worth and you hold on to what you believe in, they have absolutely no power over you. It is you who gives them power and takes it away from them.