I know your pain, dear. I’ve been there myself. I am familiar with how badly that sorrow stings. I’ve experienced it. I know that the regret inside your heart is sharper than a razor blade. I’ve felt it because once upon a time I bled as well. My heart was ripped right from my chest and left to rot. My hopes and dreams were shattered by someone I thought loved me.
I don’t need you to open your mouth to understand what your heart has been through. I can already see it in your pretty, little vulnerable eyes. In that honest and frightening smile on your face.
You loved someone who made you lose your self-worth. Someone who was too self-absorbed to see you happy and enjoy your laughter. Someone who loved making you feel worthless. Someone who made you think that you should be happy that you’re with him. A person who made you too insecure to even look yourself in the mirror and say, “This is me. I am who I am, and no one is going to change that.”
You loved someone you were sure that you knew. A man you thought loved you the same way you loved him. Someone who turned from a nice, charming guy into the most toxic, petty and jealous human being. Someone who pretended to be madly and passionately in love with you but wore a mask that covered his harmful intentions and his malicious lies.
You loved someone who was incapable of loving anyone else but themselves. Someone who refused to be intimate with you. Someone who used you when he felt like it. A man who was never excited to see you, no matter how bright and big your smile were whenever you saw him. Someone who was emotionally handicapped, or better yet, emotionally dead. Someone who was never interested in loving you, only in possessing you.
You loved someone who you allowed to manipulate you by luring you inside his sick world. Someone who you thought was different but ended up just the same as those previous men in your life. Someone who made you feel like less of a person. Someone who forced you to think that you will never be loved by anyone. A man who swore to love you, but never ever showed you anything other than his lying, cheating and toxic behavior.
You loved someone who was pathologically jealous of your life. Someone who hated the way people smiled at you. Someone who couldn’t stand seeing you being surrounded with so many friends. Someone who made you feel guilty for being an open, communicative and friendly person. Someone who was madly jealous of your success in every field in life. A man who took away your freedom because he couldn’t stand seeing you grow.
However, you also loved someone who made you a stronger and wiser person. Because regardless of how much you were hurt and how much time you needed to get yourself out of that hell hole, you are now a different person. A phoenix reborn from the ashes. A pure, snowdrop emerging from the ground and rising above the snow. A brave and confident human being who’ve been through hell but made it back in one peace.
Here’s to you, my dear!
Don’t ever let that heart of yours lose hope. You are stronger than you think.