Relationships are there to make us feel happy and fulfilled. When we’re in a relationship with the person we love, we want it to last forever. We try to make sure we take care of the relationship and we’re careful not to do anything that could put it in danger. But, still, many relationships fall apart.
I’m guessing that if someone asks you why so many short and long-term relationships fail, you’ll say the major reasons are infidelity or that couples simply grow apart. But, the real question is: Why would someone decide to cheat on their partner and how is it possible for couples to grow apart?
I’ve talked to many couples who have separated after spending 6 or more years together and in most cases, they attribute their breakup to the lack in common interest or absence of passion. This is true, especially when it comes to long-term relationships because couples who’ve been together for a longer period of time start comparing their relationship to its first years.
To the years when it’s all about romance, passion, and feeling butterflies in the stomach. But, as years pass, things begin to change. The passion wanes, more responsibilities and family or financial issues appear in your way. You become comfortable in the relationship and put less effort in it.
Without the original flame of passion, you start to feel like you’re dating your best friend rather than your partner. Eventually, you begin to wonder if your partner is ‘the one’ for you and if you really want to stay in the relationship.
Once these doubts begin running through your head, you enter the dangerous zone of wanting to experience new things and even thinking about cheating on your partner.
If you want to preserve your relationship, make sure you and your partner avoid doing the following 8 things:
1. Lack or loss of trust.
You can’t expect your relationship to be meaningful and long-lasting if you and your partner can’t trust each other. You can have trust issues due to irrational, extreme jealousy, possessiveness, lack of dependability and emotional support, or physical infidelity.
Irrespective of the cause, without trust, you lose the ability to feel safe and protected, which is why many relationships fail.
2. Taking your partner for granted.
One crucial mistake that many couples make is when they think they don’t have to pay attention to their partner’s feelings, needs, opinions, and decisions because they’ll never leave.
They think that they can hurt their partner’s feelings time and time again and make a pile of false promises to change because they believe they’ll always stay. But, unfortunately, this is exactly what happens – the other person is left with no other option but to leave and put the relationship behind them.
3. Constant criticism.
Criticism is beneficial only when it’s constructive. But, if you regularly judge your partner for anything they say or do, and you criticize or mock them for their flaws and insecurities, you’ll gradually kill their love and respect for you.
Insults and belittling are always detrimental to both partners and a very common reason why most couples decide to call it quits.
4. Lack of compassion, help, and support.
Failing to show compassion for and help your partner when he/she is going through rough times is something that inevitably leads to a breakup.
If you want your relationship to be successful, you should never ignore or disrespect each other’s feelings, opinions, and problems.
5. Sweeping problems under the carpet.
All couples go through problems sooner or later. No relationship can be saved if one or both partners are unwilling to overcome any obstacle and difficulty that appear in their way.
Ignoring existing problems gives rise to new ones and makes both partners feel uncomfortable in the relationship. Once this tension becomes unbearable, the relationship falls apart.
6. Lack of kindness and gratitude.
Any relationships begin to fall apart when one of the partners stops doing things that show they still love, care about, and appreciate the other person. Or when they assume their partner doesn’t need a sign of gratitude for all they’ve done for them.
So, if you can’t remember the last time you thanked or you were kind to each other, chances are your relationship is already falling apart.
7. Frequent fights.
Disagreements and quarrels make relationships healthy. Yet, when one of the partners begins to frequently pick fights without justifiable reason, but only to gain control over the other person or to be in the center of attention, this can have a damaging effect on the relationship, causing it to fall apart.
8. Not respecting boundaries.
Both partners deserve and need to have their own personal space and time. Expecting your partner to distance themselves from their family and friends, and devote all their time and attention to you is not only immature, but selfish too.
Once you start disrespecting each other’s boundaries, you can take this as a sign that the relationship is broken beyond repair.