We all know a person whose life story eventually took a wrong turn. We’ve all heard stories and read articles about people who struggled to get their lives back from abusive and harmful relationships.
In fact, according to statistics, nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
However, there are some lucky individuals who despite their fear of making a step towards freedom, still managed to untie themselves from the wicked traps of emotional psychopaths.
And one of the most amazing things after such traumatizing experience is the long-awaited recovery. The ability to open your mouth and speak up. The chance of being finally heard.
The chance to share your experience with people who endured the same pain.
The inexplicable sensation of healing your wounds through sharing your pain with people who completely understand the agony you’ve been through.
So, in an effort to reach out to those who’ve experienced or still experiencing the horrifying traumas of being in an abusive relationship, I made an article consisted of the most frequently asked questions among sufferers.
It might be difficult for some of you to get back right where you started and relive your memories, but I believe that asking yourself these essential questions can really help you on your healing journey.
So, here we go:
1. IS HE/SHE REALLY A PSYCHOPATH? What if this is something I made up to feel better about myself?
This is something you’ll face repeatedly during the early stages of recovery. Try to remember that you were used to taking the blame every single time, even when you did nothing wrong.
They punished you, cheated on you, criticized you and manipulated you for so long that you practically convinced yourself that you are the bad guy. They made you delusional and destroyed your sense of self.
They erased everything you once believed in. So, next time you encounter these thoughts, remember, it’s just a part of the healing process. Embrace and move on.
2. HOW CAN THEY BE HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELSE? Why wasn’t I good enough for him/her?
This is exactly what they’ll want you to believe. And believe me, he/she works very hard to make you feel this way.
Psychopaths like to make you think that their next target is much more loved and cherished. They want to make you jealous. They want you to suffer. So, they do it by shoving their new relationship in your face.
Don’t even think for a second you weren’t good enough. As a matter of fact, you were too much, dear.
3. SHOULD I CONTACT HIS/HERS NEXT VICTIM (PARTNER)?
We’ve all felt this way. But, no matter how noble and kind this act might be, it is a no-go.
I’m guessing that you assume that this act of yours will finally uncover the evil he/she did and your letter to their partner will make them instantly dump the psychopath.
However, the reality is a lot worse. You’ll only trigger their manipulative powers, and then they’ll do what they know best. They’ll use your words against you.
4. HOW CAN HE/SHE BE SO INCONSIDERATE OF MY FEELINGS? Did she/he ever feel something for me?
Probably not. Psychopaths do not experience emotions the way normal people do. Your love was the purest flow of energy in the universe. But, theirs was fake.
They did everything to convince you that you’re the only person in the world for them, but they’ve never felt what real love is. Don’t take it personally.
5. HOW CAN I START TRUSTING PEOPLE AGAIN AFTER EVERYTHING I WENT THROUGH?
Nobody said how long the healing process is. Because it all depends on you. You can spend years of grieving and still not be able to open up to another person.
Take your time. Make sure to learn from your previous mistakes. Try to remember what made you addicted to them. Rethink your actions, your choices. And most importantly, embrace changes.
6. HOW LONG AM I GOING TO FEEL THIS WAY? Will I ever find happiness again?
Yes, you will. As I said, surviving such horrible experiences often leaves a person with haunting traumas. It makes a man/woman feel like he/she is incapable of loving or believing again.
But, everything in its time. First, you need to concentrate on yourself.
7. THERE’S A POINT WHERE I WOULD HAVE TO FINALLY FORGIVE HIM/HER, RIGHT?
Yes, and it is for your own good. I know that a person who endured such pain by an emotional psycho has probably all the reasons for seeking revenge, but believe me, that is not something that will calm your soul.
It will only bring you despair. It will only prolong your suffering. The only way you can fasten your healing process is by letting go. Remember that karma is always here to finish what’s left undone.
8. WHAT IF I’M THE PSYCHOPATH?
If you are a survivor of an abusive relationship, it is only natural to begin questioning yourself whether you’re the one who is crazy.
But, here’s the good news. You are not.
A psychopath has no conscience, they have no moral sense of what is right or wrong. So, naturally, a psychopath would never worry about this, because they don’t care about it.
They don’t perceive their condition as sickness. They consider themselves as strong individuals who are superior to every human being.
Image: Alexander Shark