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8 Behaviors That Keep You From Finding A Relationship That Would Actually Work


Have you ever thought that perhaps your behavior is what’s keeping you from finding a lasting relationship?

Even though you might think that you are ready for a relationship, there are some things that you might be doing unconsciously that sabotage all your relationships. Here are 8 such behaviors.

1. You Still Need to Heal from The Pain of Your Childhood

Many psychologists believe that the way you were loved as a child has shaped your whole relationships and bonding style as an adult. If your childhood was not happy and you are still carrying pain and emotional scars from that time, you may find it very hard to connect with someone. So, prior to finding a serious relationship, you should start healing yourself from all your childhood pain.

2. You Fear What Would Happen When You Do Find the Right Person

The fear of commitment is common to almost all single people. Perhaps you fear getting tied down and losing your independence. Or, you are afraid that you would miss out on someone who would have been a better match for you. However, this fear is nothing more than just a fear of happiness and success that you will probably achieve when you find your right person.

3. You Keep Repeating the Same Pattern in All Your Relationships

If you notice that all your relationships seem to inevitably fail at some point, then you might be bringing up unhealthy old patterns from your past relationships into your new ones. You should do some reflection and inner work and let go of all the negative habits and beliefs that you have before starting a new relationship.

4. You Have Very High Standards

Yes, having standards is great, but having too high standards about your next partner is not so good. No one is perfect, and you shouldn’t expect your future partner to be everything that you’ve always wanted. Compatibility, trust, and respect are more important than good looks, perfect job, and killing abs.

5. Low Self-Esteem

This is probably one of the main reasons why your relationships fail. It is hard to have a loving relationship with someone when you don’t love yourself. And no one wants to be with someone who is not sure of themselves and is only focused on the negative.

6. You Think You Have to Abandon Who You Are to Be in A Relationship

No, you shouldn’t change yourself and abandon your previous life in order to be in a relationship. The relationship should be only an addition to your previously fulfilled life. It should not be your whole life. In the right relationship, you won’t have to sacrifice anything.

7. You Find It Hard to Trust

Yes, I get it. You had your heart broken too many times that you now have trouble trusting anyone. However, regret is worse than failure. You must risk and put yourself out there if you want to find a real love. After all, it is better to have loved and lost than living life not having loved at all.

8. Love Has Made You Indifferent

You wallow in resentment, self-pity, negativity, and regret about your past failed relationship that you are unable to focus on the present and find the relationship that you deserve. Let go off all your past pain, learn your lessons, grow, and be open to love again.

Image: SamAlive

Mary Wright