Dating a narcissist is tough. It’s being in a relationship that leads nowhere and can have a negative impact on your emotions and behavior.
When you’re in a narcissistic relationship, you’re dating someone who thinks he’s better and more important than others, including you. You’re dating someone who wants to be the center of attention and who expects everyone to admire him. That’s why he’ll always put himself before you and he’ll never be interested in your feelings, needs, and desires.
Dating a narcissist can cause a considerable damage to your confidence. Your only role in the relationship is to feed your partner’s ego because it’s all about him, and never about you. Gradually and often unconsciously you get used to always being the second option and not receiving enough attention, love, and respect.
You get used to being manipulated and disrespected and you don’t do anything about it until things go way too far and beyond repair.
And that’s how you lose your self-respect and self-worth and you take your insecurities and fears into your next relationship. And when you finally pluck up the courage to let go of your narcissistic relationship, you come across another problem.
You meet a nice guy who treats and loves you the way you deserve, but you feel out of your comfort zone because up to this point nothing was about you—everything was about him.
When you meet a good guy after your narcissistic relationship, the following 7 things unavoidably happen:
1. He knows your worth.
Your last relationship weakened your confidence and made you feel bad about yourself. It made you doubt your intellectual abilities, strength, and the choices you made.
But, this guy knows how smart and capable you are and that you can achieve anything you want. He’ll always be there to support and encourage you to face every challenge and problem life throws your way. This man will remind you of your worth and make you believe in yourself again.
2. He treats you as you deserve.
In your last relationship, you were with a self-absorbed and conceited guy who made you forget how it feels like to be treated with kindness and affection.
But, this guy knows your worth and how to appreciate you. You’ll find it strange, but he will go the extra mile to make you feel happy and fulfilled because he knows this is what you deserve. He’ll be kind, gentle, and compassionate, and he’ll show you a lot of love and affection.
3. He wants you to trust him.
He knows that your last relationship wasn’t built on trust. You were constantly blamed for things that were not your fault. You couldn’t trust your narcissistic boyfriend’s words and promises because he never bothered to keep them.
That’s why this guy is patient with you. He gives you time to get rid of the stress from your last relationship and start believing him. He works hard to gain your trust and to show that he’s worthy enough for you to put your faith in him and that he’ll never disappoint you. Most importantly, by learning to trust him, you learn to trust yourself again.
4. He’s not ashamed to apologize.
In your last relationship, you were the one who had to apologize for even the silliest of things just to avoid arguments. But, sometimes, things would get out of control and you fought and yelled at each other until someone left the room. But, you never heard him admit his mistakes and apologize, it was always your fault. And when you or your narcissistic boyfriend cooled off, life proceeded.
But, the worst thing about all this is that this emotional rollercoaster became normal and you got used to it too.
But, it’s different with this guy. Sure, you’ll fight, all couples fight. But, he won’t put the blame on you when something goes wrong or when he’s having a bad day. He won’t feel ashamed and emasculated to say: “I’m sorry, I was wrong” when he makes a mistake.
5. He wants to hear what you have to say.
In your last relationship, every conversation started with ‘I’ – “I want this, I did that, blah, blah, blah.” It was always about him.
But, now you’re with a guy who is not only physically present there when you’re talking to him, but he actually pays attention to what you’re telling him. He wants to know what your likes and dislikes are. He wants to know everything about you and your past.
You feel free and comfortable to express your opinions and ideas without fearing that you’ll be judged, insulted, or laughed at. This guy will show that your opinions are important to him.
6. He doesn’t manipulate you.
Narcissists are control freaks. But no one can control everything and everyone around them, and that’s when they lash out at others. Dating this kind of person left you walking on eggshells around him, being extremely careful not to say something that could make him angry. On the other hand, he always knew what to say to make you feel bad and inferior to him.
But, now you’re in a relationship where that kind of behavior doesn’t exist. This guy makes you feel free to express your feelings and opinions, both positive and negative. He never ignores, gaslights or guilt trips you because these devious manipulation games are not his way of treating the person he loves the most. Instead, he’s always honest with you and lets you be yourself.
7. He teaches you what real love feels like.
You realize that the relationship which used to define your standard of love was way too far from the real thing. This guy will show you that love doesn’t need to be hard, demeaning, and painful. He’ll show you that love can emotionally fulfill and make you happy.
He’ll show you that when you truly, deeply, and honestly love each other, there’s no room for manipulation games, selfishness, and drama in the relationship.
This guy will make you feel like you’re the most loved and important person in the world. And undoubtedly, you’ll feel lucky for having him in your life.