Manipulation is not always visible. It is not always there in front of you to see, to feel it and touch it. Sometimes, manipulation can be covert. It can come in a completely different form that you were used to experiencing. And so, it can easily deceive you. Make you think it’s love, when in fact it’s what it always is – plain manipulation.
There is no trick to see it for what it is. You just have to find a way to pull down the curtains and notice the small hints that a person is unconsciously dropping. So, are you ready to do that?
Below are 7 manipulative and toxic behaviors in a relationship that people often mistake for love:
1. Your partner constantly guilts you for everything. The blame is always on you. Even when they are the one who’s clearly made a mistake. Even when no one is to blame. Even when you’ve apologized. Note that this behavior is an obvious sign that your partner isn’t interested in finding a solution to your issues. This also proves that they are not willing to accept you as you are, no matter how much they convince you of that.
2. They justify their toxic behavior by saying that they only do this because they care. If you heart this on a daily basis, I want you to know that this is a classic case of manipulation. This is their way of controlling you.
3. They are constantly checking to see how are you, where are you, who you are with. It’s simple. They don’t trust you. But it’s your fault. It’s because they have a problem with their insecurities.
4. They always compare you to their ex-partner. “My ex was nuts, but you, you are the most amazing thing that has happened to me.” As much as it sounds nice to sometimes hear this, the mere thought of them mentioning their ex and probably thinking about them is simply unsettling. And it proves that they might still be obsessed with their exes.
5. They get insanely jealous. So much that they start checking on your every minute of the day, spamming you with text messages and calls when you’re at work or busy doing something else. They constantly question you about your friends and sometimes, they even have the nerve to ask you “Do you really have to go out tonight?”
6. They do things for you, but not because they enjoy doing them, but because they want to make you feel like you owe them something. Like you owe them your unconditional love, support, commitment, and loyalty. Like you owe them your life. You mustn’t let this fool you. Real love is not about competing who’s done more, it’s about loving someone without expecting anything in return.
7. They always tell you how miserable life would be without you. And how they could never survive without you by their side. It’s their way of intimidating you into staying in the relationship. The more codependent they get, the harder it will be for you to leave them.