Are you often listening to that little voice in your head telling you there’s something wrong in your relationship, or are you constantly making excuses to explain away your partner’s bad behavior? Well, if your answer is yes, know that chances are you’re in a relationship with an emotional abuser.
Unfortunately, many women fail to recognize whether their partner truly loves them or he’s only obsessed with them. The thing is, most women tend to listen to what their heart feels and not what their mind tells them. By ignoring the latter, they may easily get caught up in an emotionally abusive relationship.
That’s why it’s important for you to be able to recognize the signs that your Prince Charming is nothing else but an emotional abuser in disguise.
Here they are:
1. He showers you with attention and affection.
He seems like he loves spending a ton of time with you. He’s caring, gentle, and compassionate. He showers you with affection and kindness. He puts you on a pedestal. This guy can make you think you’re everything he cares about. He’ll act like your needs, feelings, wishes, and problems are his top priority.
But, this is only a mask. This is how he manipulates you to believe that he’s in love with you, but in fact – he’s just obsessed with you. Once he feels he has your heart, it’ll be easier for him to control you and get what he wants from you.
2. He wants to spend unreasonable amounts of time with you.
It’s normal for couples to spend a lot of time together and think about each other at the beginning of their relationship. Such behavior is common for every healthy relationship. Yet, in a toxic, emotionally abusive one, this is certainly not the case.
If you’re in such relationship, after a while, you’ll notice that your partner’s intense emotions and attention turn into a possessiveness of you. He’ll no longer respect and support your independence. He’ll begin to insist you attend all social events together and he’ll make sure he’s always by your side when you talk to someone else.
By having your whole attention, he builds his self – esteem.
3. He demands your full attention.
He wants you to devote all your time and energy solely to him. You might think this is because he truly loves you and can’t stand being without you, and this is exactly what he wants you to believe. The truth is, he only wants to isolate you from your family and friends. He’s afraid that your loved ones can reveal his true personality and you’ll leave him.
One more reason why he wants to isolate you from the people you hold dear is the fact that he’s jealous of your friends. He can have as many female friends as he wants, but he can’t stand the idea of you having and hanging out with your male friends.
If your guy is an emotional abuser, then you must know how tiring and frustrating it is to listen to questions, such as: “Why do you always prefer to hang out with your friends over spending time with me?” Or “Are you going to lunch with your family again?”
This guy goes mad when you make plans to go out with your friends or co-workers. He always finds some kind of problem with them. And even if you go out with them, he won’t be ashamed to text you every 5 minutes to ask you where you are, who you’re with, and when you’re coming home.
He doesn’t want you to have other people in your life. In his view, he’s the only one who deserves your attention. This kind of behavior is certainly not a sign of pure and honest love. Instead, it shows your guy is jealous and controlling.
4. He always checks up on when you’re not together.
If your guy acts like he owes you, you should definitely take this as a red flag. He follows you and wants you to inform him about your whereabouts.
When you’re apart, he constantly calls and sends you messages on the pretext of just wanting to check up on you. But, in fact, he’s just controlling and he doesn’t want you to do anything without him knowing about it.
He’s not even ashamed to sniff around your personal things, such as your purse or cell phone so as to make sure you’re not doing things behind his back or cheating on him.
Your guy possessiveness and constant questioning can not only shake your confidence in him and the relationship, but it can also stress you out and emotionally drain you.
5. He has no respect for your boundaries.
He has no respect whatsoever for your time and personal space. And although he might appear like he’s holding everything under control, he’s actually full of insecurities. That’s why he can easily fly off the handle if you tell him that you want to spend a night or two alone.
Of course, he won’t let you do this because he’s unable to understand that you need and deserve to have me – time and that it’s healthy to maintain some sort of space so as to preserve your identity and sanity.