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5 Reasons Why You Need To Stop Being A People-Pleaser And Start Pleasing Yourself Instead


“When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.” – Paolo Coehlo

When you don’t respect yourself and your needs and desires, you’ll create a void inside you that will numb your senses and make you feel empty and lifeless.

On the other hand, if you are confident enough to say ‘no’ to people who waste your time and say ‘yes’ to people and things who make YOU happy, you’ll notice how your life will change for the better. You’ll begin feeling happier, more fulfilled, and more grateful for everything you are and everything you have in your life.

Being a people-pleaser just because you want to get along with everyone can be really stressful and exhausting. When you are overly compassionate, kind, caring, hardworking, and loyal, your energy levels will be dropping gradually, and you’ll start needing more and more time to relax and recharge your batteries.

Here are 5 reasons why you should immediately stop with all the nonsense of trying to please everyone and start prioritizing and pleasing yourself instead.

1. You’ll Lose Yourself and Your True Essence

When you try hard to please everyone around you, instead of respecting you, they’ll start seeing you as a pushover. That’s why you should immediately stop doing this to yourself. Although you may not see it as a bad thing, believe me – it is. The more you cater to everyone else’s needs, the more you’ll lose yourself because you won’t have time for your own.

2. You’ll Hurt Yourself

When you realize that it is impossible to please everyone, you could start feeling like a failure. Once you see that all your efforts were in vain and others don’t appreciate what you are doing for them, you may start feeling devastated and utterly hurt because your whole identity was built on the opinions of other people. Soon, you’ll begin feeling like your whole life is meaningless.

3. You’ll Become More Vulnerable

When you are always trying to do your best to please everyone, you’ll become more vulnerable to judgment and criticism. You’ll find yourself getting easily hurt by small things that others say to you because, in the process of pleasing them, you started depending on them and their opinion. So, please stop this. You can’t make everyone around you happy and you shouldn’t try to.

4. You’ll Create Co-Dependencies Around You

Other people will start relying on you more and more because they will get used to you always doing things for them. They will literally become dependent on you. Therefore, the first time you are not there for them, they’ll start feeling like their whole life has fallen apart. This codependent behavior is very dangerous, and it can happen very subtly before you even realize what is happening.

5. You’ll Start Feeling Unloved

The irony is, the more you help others, the more it is difficult for you to help and support yourself at times when you need it the most. In general, people are selfish, and they don’t expect a people-pleaser like you to ever need their help. That’s why oftentimes you may find yourself feeling unloved and uncared for, especially when people “forget” to be there for you when you need them.

Finally, when you are not busy pleasing everyone, you’ll have more time for pleasing yourself and doing the things you want.

You’ll boost your self-confidence and start following your dreams – to travel, to read, to meet new people, to learn new things, and to connect with yourself on a more compassionate and honest way.

Mary Wright