From our earliest age, we’re being taught that finding a soulmate, getting married and procreating is what life’s all about.
We learn that our worth is actually connected with our ability to find a person with whom we’d eventually spend our lives together.
Society convinces us that tying the knot means entering the realms of mature adulthood. It pressures us to never stop searching for our soulmate and it forces us to feel incomplete until we find that destined person who was clearly made for us.
On top of it all, there’s something called a “biological clock” that keeps pressuring us into making that final decision as if there’s no tomorrow.
As a result, we witness more and more young, hesitant and confused people who choose to tie the knot and settle in a relationship out of fear that they might eventually wake up miserable and lonely.
What’s the hurry?
Don’t you think that settling down in a comfortable and boring relationship with a person you don’t love is way worse than staying single, devoting yourself to growth and self-improvement and living life by your own rules?
If you’ve ever felt afraid when faced with the dilemma of staying alone or settling down, we have 4 effective arguments why you should wait for the one who would make you truly happy:
1. BEING SINGLE HAS ITS OWN PERKS
It’s sad how nowadays, being single is often associated with being immature, selfish, unwanted and emotionally unavailable. The stereotypes this society encourages are brutal.
However, the reality is a lot different. Single people are just ordinary fellas who chose their own way of life, just like every other person out there.
And when you really think about it, being single is a great opportunity to devote to yourself. It’s a period in life in which people should focus on building relationships, learning more, growing, improving their knowledge, experiencing life to the maximum and doing whatever feels right.
These are the exact experiences that will eventually help you find yourself in life.
2. FEAR OF BEING ALONE CAN DISTORT YOUR PRIORITIES
Studies have pointed that people who are too afraid to stay single; the ones who agree with statements like “I think it’s time for me to settle”; “It’s too late to find the love of my life, my time has passed” are usually people who value being in a relationship more than the quality of the relationship itself.
Is it possible that people who are too scared to be alone are people who are happy to be in a low-quality relationship because of their low standers?
Well, even though the researchers have found out that people in bad relationships are just as depressed and scared as people who were single, it is understandable how the fear of being alone often drives people to make unreasonable romantic decisions that can later result in wrong, and harmful choices.
3. EVEN THE SLIGHTEST POSSIBILITY OF EXPERIENCING TRUE LOVE MAY BE WORTH THE RISK OF NEVER FINDING IT
Settling down is a safer bet. You are comfortable and you accept the average. At least you know your future is right there where you can see it. Smooth sailing.Predictable as hell.
Whereas, holding out is a risk you choose to make. You may never find the one you were looking for, but the possibility of experiencing true love(no matter how small it is) is worth it.
Because for every unfortunate life story that someone ended up miserable and alone, there’s a fairy tale about people who decided to wait until they find the right person and ended up meeting someone who made their wait worthwhile.
4.ACCEPTING SOMEONE’S FLAWS DOESN’T NECESSARILY MEAN SETTLING
Settling down means ignoring your dreams and choosing to accept a reality that is clearly different than the one you’ve had in mind. In other words, is giving up on your values, dreams, and goals out of the fear that you won’t be strong and determined enough to fulfil them.
However, accepting a person’s flaws doesn’t always mean settling down. Because when you truly fall in love with someone, you’ll accept their imperfections and perceive their vices as values.
When something feels right, and the most important segments of the relationship are covered, you don’t settle. You enjoy embracing those tiny, little blemishes, as they become the most favourite part about your partner.
Image: Joanna Kitchener