Love is blind, and it can certainly make us blind to the truth. The people that we’re in a relationship with can often turn out to be someone other than who we thought they were. Even though we may not have realized it at the time, our significant others could have been narcissists in disguise.
You may not have noticed how terrible your partner’s behavior was until you broke up. These are 17 toxic behaviors that prove your ex was secretly a narcissist.
1. They Always Had to Prove Something
In any situation, they had to be the best. They would go out of their way to prove that they were the strongest, smartest, and the most attractive person in any room. It didn’t matter if the people around had superior skills in something, your ex would do everything that they could to look better.
2. They Made Excuses for Bad Behavior
Anything that they did wrong was always because of someone else’s actions or words. It was never because of them, it was the world that was at fault. They were completely unable to accept responsibility for themselves.
3. They Made You Feel Weak and Unimportant
When you were together, they belittled you and made you feel worthless. You felt that you could never compete with them. If you achieved something amazing, they would only tell you what you could be doing better rather than praising you for your success.
4. They Were in Constant Need of Validation
You and the people around them always had to remind them how great they were. If you didn’t, they would become irritated and obnoxious.
5. They Cared Too Much About Their Reputation
Everyone always had to think the best of them. Anything that could possibly tarnish their reputation, no matter how small, could not be tolerated.
6. Rules Were Only Applied to You
They believed that they were above the rules. Any and all rules were only relevant to you. They could break them all if they wanted but if you did the same, they would get extremely aggressive.
7. They Felt Entitled
In their eyes, the world owed them something simply for existing. They thought that they had the right to take whatever they wanted. It didn’t matter to them how many people they hurt in the process.
8. Every Conversation Had to Be About Them
When you tried to talk about yourself for once, they would immediately bring the topic back to themselves. They only cared about a conversation that involved them. If they had to talk about someone else, they would lose interest.
9. They Couldn’t Support You
In their busy lives, they had no time to help you when you needed guidance or support. There was only time to look after themselves and make sure that all their needs were met. Even in a dire situation, you could never count on their support.
10. There Was Constant Drama
Drama seemed to resonate from every corner of your relationship. Somehow, there was always something negative happening around them, even if it seemed that they didn’t cause it.
11. They Manipulated You
They were masters at making you do what they wanted. During the time that you spent together, they found the best tactics to control you and force you to do what they wanted.
12. Things Had to Be Their Way
God help anyone who tried to get their own way with your ex. Their mentality was always “my way or the highway.” There was never any chance of them compromising. You eventually gave up trying to reason with them and gave into their demands.
13. If You Criticized Them, They Would Fight Back
Even constructive criticism was perceived by them as a threat. You couldn’t say anything that could possibly upset them, no matter how small. If you did, they would lash out and insult you.
14. You Were Always to Blame
In their minds, they could do no wrong. If anything bad happened, they would blame you for it, no matter what. It didn’t matter If they were the ones who caused the problem, you would be at fault.
15. They’d Throw You Under the Bus
In a difficult situation, they wouldn’t hesitate before making you seem like the bad guy. They would gladly let you take the fall for anything, no matter how terrible. All they cared about was self-preservation.
16. You Had to Boost Their Ego
Every day was spent making them feel better about themselves. You had to tell them how great they were and always be in awe of all their accomplishments, even if they were minuscule.
17. They Made You Lose Yourself
You spent so much time looking after their needs that you forgot to take care of yourself. Through being with them, you lost a sense of who you really are.
It’s crazy to look back on a relationship and notice all the flaws that you didn’t spot before. Time gives us perspective and the ability to see what we might have previously missed. Use this knowledge to learn and avoid being drawn in by a narcissist again.
Were you in a relationship with a covert narcissist? Share your experiences with us.