They say an ending is the beginning of something new.
But, the end of a romantic relationship can be painful. People often leave their lovers in the most inconsiderate and harmful ways.
The truth is – the dissolution of a love affair might end up fatal. It can crush a person’s soul, leaving them with an emotional collateral damage that can mark them for life.
Whether the cause is physical rejection, growing apart, unhappiness, suppressed anger, or a betrayal, people often take a leap of faith and leave.
It’s all a part of our life. Changes are inevitable. This universe is constantly shifting. No matter how much we try, we cannot stay the same. Connections are lost. Feelings are fleeting. The love we once felt is no longer there.
So, when this happens, it’s essential to embrace it. I know it’s hard to end a relationship and it’s even harder to go separate ways with your husband/wife, but if it is crystal clear that there’s nothing left to fight for, the best way to end it is with respect and love for each other.
If you are already facing this difficult issue, here are a few useful things you need to know when leaving a partner:
1. Respect each other and honor the love you have for one another, but try to understand that sometimes love isn’t enough to keep a relationship alive. It sounds confusing, but you have to make peace with yourself and your partner. You can love each other, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you should be together.
2. Take time to explain your emotions to your partner. Sit down and talk to each other. Listen to what they have to say. Try to find a reasonable way of ending your relationship.
3. Give them time to think. They may love you, but your decision can make them upset and angry at you for leaving.
4. Follow the signs the universe is sending you, but more importantly – trust your intuition. Don’t be afraid to trust the guidance, even if seems like you’re going against your value system. Remember, changes are important.
5. Take responsibility for your part in the relationship. It takes two to tango, and it takes two to make a relationship work. The consequences of your actions are equally yours to face and bear.
6. Be respectful to your partner, even when you decided to put an end to your relationship.
7. I know it’s difficult and you feel terrible for doing that to your lover, but please, give yourself a break. You are already walking on eggshells and doing your best not to emotionally destroy them. Understand that every end means a new opportunity. For both of you.
8. Try not to forget that love and respect are much more important than material possessions. Don’t get lost fighting for bank accounts, cars or houses. Instead, sort it all out in a more civilized way.
9. Give yourself time to grieve. Give yourself space to cry, shout, scream or fall apart. Even if you are the one who is leaving. That doesn’t make it easier. Sometimes, it is even harder. So, don’t be afraid to let it out.
10. Be considerate of their feelings. Remember that they are experiencing a truly hard and life-changing event. They are at their most vulnerable. Try not to engage in romantic relationships until your emotional thunderstorm passes and everything settles down.
11. Believe in yourself. Have faith in yourself that you are doing the right thing. You are a whole. You are enough.
12. Give your lover the benefit of doubt. If they say something that could be interpreted in two different ways – one negative or hurtful, and the other loving, assume that the loving one is true.
13. Give yourself the permission to finally feel the freedom. Don’t be afraid to laugh, to feel the bliss of finally being alone, to open your wings and fly away. The fact that you decided to end something that didn’t encourage you to grow, yet unintentionally hurt your partner, doesn’t mean that you should condemn yourself to eternal suffering.
14. However, if your freedom brings you immense joy and happiness, feel it, celebrate it, but don’t be quick to show it in front of your partner. Try not to rub it in. Have respect for your relationship even if it’s ended.
15. Set your goals, but expect nothing. You may think that your break-up will happen in a certain way, and you’ll stay friends, but it doesn’t work that way. Trust your decision, and trust what the Universe has in store for you. Release attachments to possible outcomes. Stop expecting. Surrender and let it be.