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12 Ways Smart People Handle Toxic People Successfully


I’m sure you’ve already dealt with them. Whether it’s the selfish friend, the unsupportive co-worker, the grouchy neighbor, you name it, these toxic people can suck the happiness and energy out of you and turn your life into chaos.

While some toxic people are blissfully unaware of the harmful effect they have on those around them, others purposefully come into your life and create drama and anarchy in order to manipulate you to suit their needs.

Not only can these master manipulators, skilled liars, and great actors easily poison your thoughts and heart and hinder your progress, but they can put you at risk of dragging you down to their level and turning you into a toxic person as well.

Fortunately, there are ways you can save yourself from falling into their toxic trap, which are employed by smart people. They possess high levels of emotional intelligence and strong will, which enables them to control what they can and eliminate what they can’t.

Here are 12 ways smart people handle toxic people successfully:

1. They avoid manipulative people.

Manipulative people only care about their own needs and interests. They’ll manipulate your feelings, without showing sympathy, to make you act in the way that suits their needs. They’ll lie, gaslight and blame you for things that are not your fault to put you on the defensive and get control over you.

Oftentimes, they’ll use a ‘divide and conquer’ strategy, by means of which they sow the seeds of instability so as to make themselves appear essential to a social group.

When their gut feeling tells them that a person is trying to deceive them, smart people, first, let the phony person know that they’re aware of their real intentions and then break off any contact with them.

2. They’re in control of their own emotions.

Clever people know how to manage their own emotions and react and subdue the damaging influence of toxic people. They make sure they are conscious about the emotions they’re feeling and the root causes of why they’re feeling them.

When they’re on solid ground, nothing can make them waver and lose their temper.

3. They spend time with trustworthy and loyal individuals.

Smart people know that the best way to protect their mental and emotional well-being from these energy vampires is by eliminating them completely from their lives.

Smart people surround themselves with people who have proved they are worthy of their attention and love. Honest, loyal, kind-hearted, supportive, and positive individuals are the kind of people that are always a part of their support network.

 4. They stay away from petty arguments and drama at all costs.

A toxic person will pick a fight over even the most absurd thing and make sure you get involved in. They’ll try to make you pick a side and create drama out of nothing.

Smart people don’t allow themselves to get involved in these devious, meaningless games. They tell the “drama queen” that what they’re talking about has nothing to do with them and that they’re just minding their own business.

5. They tell others when they’re at fault.

A toxic person will never admit to their mistakes and wrongdoings and take responsibility for them. Yet, smart people always hold the person at fault accountable and they don’t accept their false excuses.

6. They demand straightforward answers.

A toxic person will do their best to avoid giving you a decent and satisfactory answer. Instead, they’ll wrap the truth up and sugarcoat it nicely for you.

Yet, smart, honest people don’t put up with this kind of behavior. They know that the trick to getting an honest answer is always asking them a yes-no question. In this way, they’re robbed of the opportunity to play mind games with you.

7. They don’t share their secrets with gossipmongers.

Smart people know very well how important it is to keep their personal life to themselves. They have a strong sense of who they may share parts of their lives with.

Toxic people, on the other hand, will often talk about someone behind their back to you, but not because they really like you, but because they hope you’ll agree with them. If you share information about your personal life with them, they’ll make sure the whole city knows about it.

Clever people know that gossipmongers spread rumors so as to gain friends or power in a social group, which is why they always keep their personal life to themselves.

8. They avoid narcissists.

Smart people don’t waste their time satisfying narcissists’ insatiable appetite for gratification. When a narcissist starts bragging about how successful and smart they are, and expect to be given a pile of compliments, a clever person doesn’t criticize them, but simply ignores them.

In this way, they remind narcissists that we’re all important and special in our own ways and that there’s no reason whatsoever why they should be treated like they’re better than the rest.

9. They ignore attention seekers.

Whether they’re at a party, at work, or just hanging out with their friends, people who constantly want to be the center of attention will always find a way of making everything about them. Interrupting others while they’re talking, being unnecessarily loud, or making drama for no reason – these people are willing to sink to devious levels just to get the attention.   

The attention they get makes them feel better about themselves and boosts their self-esteem. And if they don’t get the attention they crave, they start arguments or act destructively.

Smart people try to stay away from attention seekers as much as they can.

10. They ignore insults.

When someone wants to make themselves look and feel better and more important than you and make you feel unworthy, they often throw harsh insults at you. This may look like a childish behavior, but it can be quite damaging to your self-esteem if you don’t know how to properly react to it.

Whether they are deliberate, calculated insults or insults which are cleverly-disguised as compliments, smart people never take them to heart. They ignore them because they’re aware of their worth and intellectual abilities, and they know that the insults they’re receiving are just a sign of the other person’s insecurities and low self-esteem.

11. They can’t be won over by false kindness.

A phony, manipulative, toxic person will shower you with compliments to get what they want from you. They’ll act like they admire you although chances are they’re extremely rude to strangers.

However, smart people stand firmly on the ground and don’t allow to be tricked by someone’s tender words.

12.They focus on solutions, not problems.

When dealing with a toxic person, instead of generating negative emotions, hating, and throwing the blame on them, smart people focus their energy on finding a simple, reasonable solution for dealing with the person and getting rid of their toxic influence completely.

Riley Cooper