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12 Reasons Why You Always Fall For The Bad Guy And How To Break The Pattern


Some people never learn. No matter how many painful and soul-crushing experiences they go through, they always come back for more. They seem like they enjoy being a part of that never-ending cycle. I am not quite sure whether it’s the drama or the habit that they cannot live without, but either way, it’s truly difficult for me to understand their reasons.

That is because when I am done, I am done forever. Personally, I was never a person who followed a certain pattern in life. All the people that were in my life were very different from one another. And they all helped me learned the lessons that I needed.

However, unfortunately, some people don’t have that luck. Still, you shouldn’t worry. The first step to solving a problem is realizing that you have a problem. Here are 12 reasons why you always fall for the bad boy, and how to break the pattern:

1. You don’t want to be single. You are terrified of the thought of being alone in this world. So, you just settle down for every person that comes into your life.

2. You love drama. You cannot stand being bored and not having a relationship to stress about. Even though you don’t want to admit it, deep down the drama and the fights are what make a relationship interesting to you.

3. You engage in relationships thinking you can actually change the other person. But what you don’t realize is that trying to fix people that don’t want to be fixed can backfire really nasty. And so, it does. But you never learn the lesson.

4. You want to feel needed. The desire to not only be loved by someone but also needed is stronger than everything else. I feel bad for saying this, but this is most likely a result of not being happy with yourself in the first place.

5. Your standards are low. You are not valuing yourself properly. You don’t put your needs first on your priority list. For some reason, there’s always someone or something that is at the top of it.

6. You want a challenge. A relationship in which you won’t be calm and certain of everything. A partner with whom you won’t feel the smooth sailing.  

7. You are afraid of ending up alone. You are so terrified of being alone that you probably don’t even know how to function on your own. You’ve never been alone before because jumping from one relationship to another has always been much easier for you than actually facing life on your own.

8. You have commitment issues. You may not know it, but this might be one of the reasons why you keep picking all the wrong people for you. Because you do not want to commit entirely.

9. You haven’t figured the actual deal breakers for your relationships. You haven’t set boundaries. And most importantly, you haven’t learned your lessons.

10. You are not accepting your emotions. You are not putting yourself first. That is why others are invalidating your feelings and take you for granted.

11. You somehow choose the same person over and over again. Even though you are dating different people, they are all basically the same guy. Every relationship is like a bad déjà vu.

12. You don’t love yourself enough to stop this vicious cycle. I hate being the bearer of bad news, but if you keep letting people walk all over you and still wondering why only bad things happen to you, then I have only one answer. You don’t love yourself enough. You don’t respect yourself enough to cut everyone off and focus on yourself.

The secret to breaking the cycle? There isn’t one. You just have to become aware of the mess that you’ve put yourself into. No matter how much I tell you to stop doing this to yourself if you haven’t still realized it yourself, it’s all for nothing. You are the only person who can help yourself. Stop complaining about being hurt when you are doing nothing to prevent that. Stop choosing the same people all over again, isolate yourself, find the peace that you desperately need and set those boundaries.

This article is written by Stephanie Reeds. If you have any questions regarding this topic or one of your own interest, feel free to email me at [email protected] and I will be happy to give you my opinion.

Stephanie Reeds