People can be as good or as toxic as you allow them to be. And this doesn’t mean that forbidding them to be awful will stop them from being awful. In fact, our reactions and attitude allow them to be one way or another.
And this is what every successful person will tell you. If you notice, people who have made something out of themselves seem peculiarly immune to toxic people. Here are 11 ways they build their immunity and deal with these people whenever they meet them.
1. Firm boundaries
Allowing people to get into your personal space is healthy if you know those people well enough. However, even then, there are boundaries that need to be respected at all costs. If you consciously let people cross your boundaries, expect that they will soon try to take advantage of your lenient behavior.
2. Secrets remain secrets
Most people like to use their secrets as a valuable asset in achieving a close friendship and gaining trust. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. Once you let people in on your deepest secrets, you become demystified and simple in the eyes of those people – and if such person is toxic, be sure that they will use those secrets against you.
3. Some things don’t deserve an answer
Stupid questions and statements don’t deserve an answer. And a person who respects their time and values their words will know when someone has deserved a nice cold portion of ‘ignore.’ Not paying attention to every word people say has its perks – like teaching them what you appreciate hearing, and what doesn’t touch your consciousness at all.
4. Drama is for the theater
Toxic people have this touch of drama in their lives that they go to any lengths to create. And such drama doesn’t deserve any kind of attention. Successful people tend to stay away from drama following the boundaries they set and the stupid statements that don’t deserve an answer.
5. It’s only an insult if you get insulted
Toxic people like to trigger a reaction by stirring the shit pot from time to time. And they do this by tossing in some subtle insulting chats or by sarcastically ‘complimenting’ others. For someone who has a better thing to do in life, these things are simply non-existent. Not giving in to someone’s cheap manipulation is an art that everyone should practice.
6. Rising above
When an intelligent person sees someone trying to pull them in the realm of irrational and pointless, instead of diving in and falling down to their level, they rise above and view the pettiness of the situation. Removing yourself from the low vibration that some people want to intoxicate you with is the best way to truly understand what really is important in life.
7. Forgive but never forget
Hating someone means drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is liberating and mind-opening. However, forgetting means that you never learned what you were supposed to and that you allow it to happen again.
8. Focusing on solutions instead of problems
There will always be some kind of challenge that most would like to perceive as a problem. However, focusing your mind on the problem often lead you away from the solution. When it comes to people, (we all know how problematic some can be,) focusing on a simple and pleasing solution is always better than tossing the blame from one person to another.
9. Straightforward, because there’s no need for anything else
You will notice a toxic person by the way they try to go for miles of cheap expressions just to avoid providing a decent and satisfactory answer. Sugar-coated and silk-wrapped half-truths aren’t what successful people appreciate, though. They prefer straightforward answers and behavior, even when the answer is not preferable.
10. False kindness and flattery can never win these people over
Not only does it look cheap and holds no solid ground, but it’s utterly repelling for an intelligent person to be treated with false kindness and cheap compliments. Why expend the effort on trying to make someone think that you like them when you can just go about your life and find someone you truly like?
11. Emotional awareness
This is perhaps the most important trait these people possess – the ability to discern between the emotions they’re experiencing and observe those emotions that try to take over before allowing them. This way, they know what exactly lies at the root of their emotions and thus react properly at these external stimuli.