Home Psychology 10 Things You Should Never Do When Dealing With Narcissists

10 Things You Should Never Do When Dealing With Narcissists


If you’ve ever loved a narcissist and believed in what they said, you’ve probably already had your heart broken. So, if you’ve ever met a narcissist, you already know why you should avoid them. It is most likely that after those gut-wrenching and devastating experiences, you’ve actually learned a thing or two about dealing with them.

However, if you haven’t had the opportunity to come across these toxic people, then I believe that you should be instructed the proper way. It’s always better to listen to someone who has already been through it all and survived instead of learning the harder way.

Here are 10 things you should never do when dealing with narcissists:

1. Don’t share your personal information and your intimate moments with them. Remember this. The more knowledge they gather about you, the more powerful they are. Think of it as handing over a gun to someone who wants to see you dead. Narcissists would use anything to manipulate their victims. And they would do anything to strike them when they are the most vulnerable. Be careful.

2. Don’t ever feel the need to justify your emotions, your thoughts or your deeds. They need you to do this because a shattered self-confidence is the only way they can get to you. When narcissists try to second-guess you, know that they have everything planned out. All of their questions are carefully made to make you fall into their vicious trap.

3. Don’t expect that they will ever take responsibility for their actions. Narcissists are deeply convinced that they have a special status and that they have far more rights than everyone else. In other words, they are entitled. They believe that the whole universe gravitates around them. As a result, they don’t feel the need to give credit where it’s due or accept the blame when they are wrong. In their eyes, they are innocent and always right.

4. Don’t fall into their traps by getting back at them. That is exactly what they want. They play this game for years and they are good at it. Triggering your rage and provoking you to hurt them is something they enjoy doing. Instead of allowing them to win, be the bigger person and avoid them.

5. Don’t ever think that you share the same values, just because they pretend to like you. They don’t see you as an equal, and they never will. If you expect them to be compassionate and tell you the truth, you are in for a big disappointment. Narcissists will never share your values or your viewpoint. They live in their own twisted world.

6. Don’t stoop to their level by trying to beat them at their game. The greatest fear narcissists have is losing. They cringe at the thought of being publicly humiliated or even worse, exposed. To prevent that from happening they focus all of their energy on maintaining their reputation, usually at someone else’s expense. Therefore, considering this, trying to outsmart them and beat them at their own game is an impossible task.

7. Don’t expect them to be empathic towards you. Narcissists aren’t capable of understanding their own emotions, let alone understanding other people’s emotions. They do not have empathy inside their hearts. And they do not care about anything else other than themselves. Why? Because their inflated sense of self makes them see everyone else as inferior to them.  

8. Don’t think that they will change just because they promised you that they would. Narcissists believe that they are always right. So, know that when they promise that they will change, they are setting a trap. A trap, so transparent and so obvious that one should be truly naïve to not see it.

9. Don’t take their actions so personally. Let’s be real. They exist because they take advantage of almost anyone. It’s true, they have a special way of treating those who are closest to them, but the reality is, they can do the same thing to everyone out there. If that is necessary for achieving their twisted goals.

10. Most importantly, don’t ever underestimate their power. Narcissism is excessive admiration of oneself. These people are convinced that they are the only ones who are right. Their lives are all about being the center of attention, having control over everyone and gaining power over everything. So, the only thing that is important to them is to have a well-fed ego. This part is so essential that they would literally harm another human being to get what they want. Don’t ever underestimate them.

Stephanie Reeds