One of the greatest dangers of being trapped in a toxic relationship is the fact that you aren’t necessarily aware that you are in one. That is how they own you. By making you emotionally insecure and desperate for affection, no matter the cost.
People who do this are usually people who are selfish and merciless enough to not give a damn about other people’s feelings but their own…
They lure you in with the promise of everlasting love and once they have you inside their world, they take off their mask and show you their real face. The promises they’ve made are no longer there, the ‘love’ you’ve felt fades away and you slowly start to lose your sense of self.
But it all becomes a routine. There is a strange sense of relief and comfort in someone knowing you so deeply. It gets hard for you to force yourself to walk away. Because facing the truth would mean getting out of the comfort zone and facing the pain…
Still, you somehow do it… And strangely, it is not as scary as you imagined it. At all. You pick yourself up, you move on… And then you meet another person. A person who comes into your life when you least expected. A person who is not afraid to catch you when you fall. A person who is willing to embrace you and help you heal…
1. At first, you are prepared for the worst. You don’t trust anyone. You are broken and devastated by your last crash. You cannot feel. You can’t think straight. The only thing that you know is that you couldn’t afford to get your heart broken again.
2. You overthink the whole situation and you start building high, solid walls around you. You don’t believe people can be honest. Heck, everyone in your life until know has tried to hurt you or use you for something. So, boundaries seem like the best idea. The bigger they are, the safer you feel.
3. Everything seems too good to be true. You’ve suffered. A long time. You’ve been mistreated and misunderstood for too long to believe again. So, suddenly, someone treating you too well doesn’t seem real to you. You are expecting him to lose it. To show who he really is. But what you see is what he really is. A kind, loving man who would love you the way you deserve to be loved. If you’d only let him…
4. You expect to fight a lot. You keep waiting for the ugly part to come… But nothing happens. It feels like a fairytale. One you never ever experienced. One you never even knew can be possible.
5. Your inner gut tells you to push him away and let him know that you no longer believe in love. Someone you knew not long ago made you believe that you are not worthy of love. So, it is really hard for you to believe in his words. It is really difficult for you to open up and risk it all once more. You cannot allow yourself to get hurt once again.
6. But then you start to realize that this person means no harm. He is only there to love you, hold you, hear you and understand you. As time passes, you are more and more convinced that he may really be the person that he claims to be. A man who genuinely loves you. A man who is there to help you heal.
7. Still, the insecurities come knocking on your door all over again. Am I good enough for this person? Does he really know what he is getting himself into? … The heavy emotional baggage weighs you down and forces you to think that you are not worthy of true love. That no person out there could be strong enough to take care of your wounded soul.
8. Luckily, he does everything to let you know how he really feels about you. And you somehow get comfortable. You open your heart and let it feel whatever it wants to feel.
9. You begin to trust this person. You begin to give in. Because something tells you that you’ve finally found something pure. You are safe in his embrace. You are yourself. No masks, no pretending, no faking. That is exactly what he fell in love with. The real, vulnerable, flawed you.
10. For the first time in your life, you feel what real love is. You finally realize that the relationships that used to define your standard of love were all far from the real thing. You’ve never really loved before. You’ve never really felt what is like to be wanted and needed by someone. But now you do. Real love has found you.