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I’ve Had My Heart Smashed Many Times, So I Guess I’ll Always Be Guarded

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broken too many times

I’ve had my heart broken too many times. I’ve been lied to, cheated on, taken advantage of… but I’ve survived. And before you start judging me or thinking I have a lot of baggage, here’s what you should know about me.

1. I Can Smell Toxicity From A Mile Away

I’ve had my share of dating toxic people who say all the right things and use their charm to manipulate others for their own selfish needs. Therefore, I am extremely sensitive to toxicity and I can smell toxic people from a mile away.

2. I Am Alert For Good Reasons

I’ve had my heart smashed many times, so I guess I’ll always be cautious. I learned how to protect myself and guard my heart after all the disappointments and heartbreak I’ve experienced.

3. I See Everything, Good And Bad

If you start taking me for granted, ignoring my calls and texts, or acting cold – I’ll notice it immediately and I’ll react accordingly. Your bad behavior will be “punished” every time because I’ve been through that bullshit before and I don’t want to be in that situation ever again.

4. Kindness Means Everything To Me

And it’s not only how you treat me, but how you treat everyone else, from the waiter at the restaurant to your own relatives. I will fall for kindness every time. So, if you are rude, condescending, and negative you won’t have a place in my life.

5. I Don’t Reveal My Feelings

I tend to hold a lot in because I am guarded. I don’t share too much personal info or reveal my feelings until I know for sure that I can trust you. Letting you in after all the heartache I’ve experienced is a big step for me.

6. I Want To Take Things Slowly But Oftentimes My Heart Takes Over

Every time I get into a new relationship, I say to myself that I will take things slowly this time. However, my heart often doesn’t agree and tends to overpower my mind. That’s usually the point when I start overthinking and become anxious.

7. I Want To Trust You But I Am Scared

Even if you’ve assured me million times that you are not going to hurt me, I’d still have my guard up. I know that I should trust you until you give me a reason not to, but the fear inside me is very strong. If you want to gain my trust you have to stay consistent and never give me a reason to question your intentions and your feelings for me.

8. Sometimes I Don’t Think That I Am Worthy

Sometimes I think I’ll never find someone because I feel like I am not worthy of love. All the past hurt and traumas made me believe that something must be wrong with me. Luckily, I am slowly gaining my self-confidence back.

9. I’ve Been Through The Worst And I Still Have Hope

I am proud that regardless of being crushed over by love time and time again, I still have hope that someday I’ll find true love. Many would say that is desperate, I call it brave.

10. I Have A Lot To Offer To The Right Person

Once I find the right person for me, I am ready to love them unconditionally. I will love them with all my heart. Because only the person who was hurt many times knows how to love the right way. They are the most caring and loving human beings. Also, they are one of the bravest ones because they know they can survive anything.

 

I am currently writing my first book titled Inside The Narcissist’s Psyche: His Ability To Make Victims Stay With Him Even Though The Pain They’re Feeling Is Unbearable” If you are interested to take a glimpse at it, follow this link and tell us whether you like the subject so that we can send you a  free chapter after we publish it.

Mary Wright