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You Attract Who You Are, Not What You Want: If You Want Better, Be Better

You Attract Who You Are, Not What You Want: If You Want Better, Be Better

There is no such thing as a coincidence or luck.

In life, we attract exactly who we are, not what we want.

So, if you wonder why you’re surrounded by people who exhaust you or suck the life out of you, think again. No, it is not the city that you live in or the work that you do. It has nothing to do with the gym that you go to or the restaurants that you prefer to visit.

It’s all you.

But that doesn’t mean that you cannot change your reality.

If you are ready to do something about this, it is going to take more than just cutting all of those people out of your life. The hardest step will be the work that you’ll have to do on your own.

Here are 7 steps to change your life and start attracting healthier relationships:

1. Let go of your baggage. When I say let go of your baggage, I certainly don’t mean burying it. Instead of sweeping those nasty traumas under the rug, accept them and embrace them as a part of your life, no matter how scary they seem. Most importantly give yourself enough time to heal and recover before you hop on the relationship train once again.

2. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Stop criticizing every step that you take. Stop neglecting your mental and physical wellbeing. Stop forcing yourself to do things that don’t add any value to your life. Stop living a life that you hate.

3. Listen to what your heart says. Not society. Not the people around you. Not the media. Not even your parents. Listen to your heart and your heart only. No matter how crazy it sounds, follow its lead. For you are the only one who really knows what is good for you.

4. Stop overthinking everything. Don’t ruin things by overthinking everything. It is okay to let some things be. After all, you don’t have control over everything, no matter how much you feel that you do. Learn to go with the flow and let life be. In the end, everything always works out the way it’s supposed to.

5. Treat people the way you want to be treated. And don’t do it only to get people to like you. Do it the right way. Notice the way people treat you and then notice the way you treat them. If you don’t like how they behave around you, try changing your approach to them. Start with yourself. Be the kind of person that you’d love to be friends with.

6. Fall in love with your flaws. I am hoping you already know this, but I’ll say it once again just in case you forgot it. You cannot expect to be liked or loved by others if you don’t like or love yourself first. That’s just how it goes. Believe it or not, people notice the relationship that you have with yourself. The connection that they develop with you is pretty much based on that. So don’t be surprised if you attract only pissed off and tense people in your life. That might be a sign that it is time for you to take some time out and rethink your choices.

7. Stop judging people based on their appearance. Stop focusing on what they wear, how they look and how much they own and start seeing them for who they are. Pay attention to their eyes, to the way they talk, their actions, their habits, their strengths, their weaknesses. Look for the thing that makes them human. Get to know them mentally and emotionally.

Stephanie Reeds