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What to Do after a Breakup


Breakups, one of the most unfortunate sad facts of life, require care for you to get through it. No matter the situation, breakups can prove difficult. Everyone will experience different emotions when they go through a breakup, and they may cycle through sadness, anger or even guilt. You may have built your life with this person and things didn’t pan out the way that you hoped.

Deal with the Pain in Constructive Ways

Some people make the mistake of hurting themselves after a breakup either by turning to drugs or alcohol to cope. We wouldn’t advise this strategy because of how it will have lasting negative consequences in your life. Avoid destructive behavior at all costs. Instead, look for ways to come out better after a breakup. 

As Ryan Holiday, American author, and bookstore owner, puts it, “the obstacle is the way.” Don’t improve yourself to get revenge or think about the other person in bitterness. Think of how you can stay mentally strong and emerge tougher than you were going into the relationship. Let it become a step on the journey of life. Most people have experienced a painful breakup at one point or another and emerged from it fine.

Change Your Life Insurance Policy

Common especially for married couples, if you have a life insurance policy that puts the other person on as your beneficiary, you will want to change the policy. You will either want to change who inherits the policy, or you may no longer have a reason to carry the policy. In that case, you can sell it through a viatical settlement. These investors are willing to buy the policy off you for between 20 and 25 percent of its value. That will give you a good chunk of change that you can use to get back on your feet after a devastating breakup. A $100,000 life insurance policy could sell for an estimated $25,000 of its worth. You can review an online guide that explains the viatical settlement process, see who is eligible, and how it may help you going forward.

Give Yourself Time to Cope

Especially for the breakups or divorces where you were with that person for a long time, you will need time to cope with it. It could take months to recover from a breakup, and for those who divorce, it can take years. How long it takes, however, will differ for each person and one person may take longer than the next. Be sure that you are avoiding certain breakup behaviors during this time as there are post-breakup moves that can set you back in your healing process. 

Keep Your Mind Busy

Read a book or head to a friend’s house to take your mind off the breakup. You want to keep your mind as busy as possible to keep from destructive emotions. Don’t suppress negative emotions, but don’t ruminate on them either. If they arise, allow yourself to feel them without destructive behavior. It is normal to feel hurt after a breakup. Even when not ready to move on, try to set the tone for a positive new relationship in the future. Heartbreak is a grieving process, and it differs from one person to the next.

David Smith