Have you ever been out for lunch with one of those “perfect” couples that smile warmly at each other and insist that they never ever argue?
Well, if so, next time, reply: “Oh, really? I’m so sorry to hear that.”
Although often feared, conflict can be quite beneficial to relationships. Conflict is often perceived as negative and something that should be avoided. Many people consider arguing as a sign of a “crack” in a relationship or an indication that a relationship is falling apart.
But let me ask you something: Is there a couple that never fights?
Yeah, you’re right – there isn’t. Because there’s no such thing as a perfect couple. Every couple goes through ups and downs in their relationship and every couple fights. Moreover, many psychologists and relationship experts state that couples who argue are often happier, stronger, and more successful than those who never fight.
Yes, constant fights do show that things are going wrong, but avoiding conflict, sweeping problems under the carpet, and bottling up negative feelings can lead to even greater stress and disappointment in the long run.
So, next time you want to discuss a sensitive issue with your partner, even if that means arguing with them, just do it.
Here are 6 ways arguing with your partner benefits your relationship:
1. It helps you figure out what the REAL problem is.
To figure out what the fight is really about, you and your partner need to talk. You need to share your opinions and ideas with each other. You need to openly say what you don’t like about the other person’s behavior or the relationship in general.
Arguing will help you identify the reasons behind your partner’s preferences as well as dissatisfaction and anger. And this, in turn, will enable you to find out how to solve the issues that you didn’t even know existed.
2. It relieves stress and anxiety.
Suppressing feelings and words so as “not to cause an argument” can actually cause you more stress than just having it out in a row. The more you avoid arguing with your partner, i.e. suppress your negative feelings, the more your stress levels increase.
High levels of stress can trigger headaches and affect the quality of your sleep. So, why ruining your emotional and physical well-being when you can just let all your negative feelings out.
3. It improves confidence.
When you argue with your partner and also manage to come out the other side, this shows that you can make compromises and overcome your relationship problems together, even when things seem really tense.
Agreeing to disagree builds trust and increases the energy and passion between you and your significant other. And when he/she sticks by you after the argument, your confidence rises.
4. It shows commitment.
Sure, being open and speaking out about something that doesn’t feel right is not easy at all. But arguing shows your significant other that you care about both them and the relationship. It shows them that you want to protect and nurture what you two have. It shows them that your relationship stands high on your list of priorities.
5. It strengthens relationships.
All couples experience difficult challenges and problems in their relationships, but the happiest, strongest, and most successful ones grow through them.
Strong relationships require you and your partner to love each other, even in the moments that you don’t like each other. And arguing will not only help you and your partner solve your relationship problems but it’ll also make the connection between you deeper and stronger.
6. Last but not least, it increases intimacy.
Arguing increases intimacy, both emotional and physical. Because it’s a growth process during which you and your significant other learn a lot about each other’s feelings, ideas, needs, values, likes, and dislikes.
Fighting also helps you learn how relationships really work and how you and your partner should treat each other so as to nurture and maintain your relationship.
And when it comes to physical intimacy, I don’t think we need to go into details about how exciting and passionate make-up s*x is.
Arguments can actually be good for a relationship… But only if you: Raise your words Not your voiceIt is the rain that grows flowersNot thunder RumiWe have never learned the skill to grow through conflict, and therefore the conflict continued to grow
Posted by Jay Shetty on Tuesday, July 24, 2018