What do toxic people do? Who are they?
Toxic people cannot sustain long-term relationships. Hence, they devalue and discard their victims. They don’t really care about other people because deep down they are incapable of love – they only mimic what love looks like.
Toxic people never apologize because to apologize, one needs to think they’ve done something wrong, but this is not the case with toxic people. If something bad happens to them, they would rather blame everyone else than admit it was their mistake.
They never respect other people’s wishes or time; they have no remorse. They are like cashiers in a supermarket. To give, they have to receive something first, and when they give – they calculate how to take advantage of the help they’ve given.
Usually, they thrive on ultimatums.
Toxic people are also disrespectful to the point where they know you are going through a tough time and yet, they use that situation to talk about similar things that have happened to them, or just to talk about themselves because they like it.
The worst part is, they cover their selfishness and self-absorption by saying that they were only joking and were just trying to get your mind off of things.
Well, no. Truth is they either bragged about their achievements, subtly leading the conversation in that direction, or pretending they are giving you advice through their experiences.
Don’t fall for that: it’s their way of shifting the focus onto themselves. They are not trying to give you advice or make you feel better; they just indulge in self-appreciation, oblivious of the fact that other people have things to share too.
Also, a good way of pegging a toxic person down is if you hear them say: I like to cross boundaries or I easily get mad. When they say that – believe them and run!
If you don’t, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life for they have a way of trapping people in their net of lies and twisted mind games.
What toxic people do, is they get mad for stupid things and expect people to chase them and beg them for forgiveness.
They do this often because this is how they normally function.
To them, it’s all about getting you to fall for them to the point where you come crawling for their forgiveness, and then they show their true colors.
They have their good moments and you hold on to them. In fact, they have to mimic sweetness and kindness to hook you up, and they have to do it for some time to convince you. Then, when you least expect it, they’ll snap, but will say they did it because you hurt them and will take on a victim’s role.
Naturally, since they were this servile, sweet person only minutes ago, you think you are the one who did something bad and you question yourself.
How to deal with toxic people?
Being tossed in a raging ocean, having your emotions splashed on the wall by toxic people can be excruciatingly hard. They squeeze you like lemon, so you have to defend yourself. Get your “emergency tool” for emotional saving and create a thick wall. Create boundaries. Do not respond to their calls, shut them out of your life.
Friends or family members have access to our privacy, so choose wisely before letting someone into your circle. Protect yourself by not giving toxic people anything to feed on, anything to conspire about.
Accept that they cannot change. Their good days are so good you will want to let them in again, or establish contact, but those days are short-lived and exist for a reason.
Hold on to that wall you created; make it as high as possible. Cut those toxic claws that hang on to your life and sanity. Cut them to breathe, to heal.