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Toxic Love: When The Man Who Shattered Your World Is The One You Can’t Live Without


Oh, love. That sweet, genuine, tingly-in-the-stomach, intense feeling that turns our nights into sleepless mornings. That crazy, vibrant, burning sensation that makes us risk our lives for the person who stole our heart.

Oh, Love. A tricky emotion that has the power to make us the happiest person alive or transform our life into a living hell.

Tell me, what is it that makes people act irrational and choose exactly the things that hurt them?

What is it that makes people so intoxicated with someone who is wrong for them?

What is it that makes people disregard every obvious, red flag in order to be with a person who manipulates them?

What is it that makes people so easily addicted to someone?

You find someone who presents himself as the noble prince on the white horse, ready to take you away and make you feel things you’ve never felt before. He promises the world to you, and his love eternal, but in a single wave of his hand, he transforms into the scariest monster you’ve ever seen.

And, what’s even scarier, even then, even in his darkest disguise, he somehow finds the way to keep you beside him, feeding your hopes with fake promises for the future while sugar-coating every word that comes out of his mouth.

He knows exactly what you need. And he knows exactly what your heart desires.

Pure, unconditional love. But, instead of being that man for you, the one who would care for you, he chooses to steal your heart and play with it.

Because he’s toxic. A harmful, shallow, dangerous, yet puny man who knows that he’s the only thing you want.

He knows how big and pure your heart is.

He knows how much he hurt you and how many times he came back.

He knows how much you care and how every meaningless apology will always be accepted.

He knows his way around you.

He knows your greatest weakness.

And, you?

It seems completely unreasonable that instead of hating his guts, you keep embracing his crazy behaviors and creative, manipulative tricks. It is foolish that you know exactly what type of a man he is, but you still choose to hold on to him.

He’s the man who destroyed your life, the one who keeps stomping on your heart for fun, yet you feel like you can’t imagine yourself without him.

He’s the monster under your bed, yet you’re more than thrilled to give this man a piece of your beautiful soul. Why? Because “There’s something special inside of him, I know there is.”

You can’t explain it yourself, but he has his secret ways of leading you on, and you don’t even bother to fight his manipulation. Because at the end of the day, you know that he’ll make you beg for more.

You know he’ll somehow find the way to sweep you off your feet and console you with his usual, pleasant-sounding clichés about how much he loves you.

It’s the ultimate game of masochism.

Toxic, addictive love. The kind that makes you blind, dazed and confused to see the truth.

The kind that has the power to turn yourself against you.

The kind that has the power to drain you of your energy.

The kind that has the power to suck you dry.

To destroy your world and shatter your beliefs.

The kind of toxic love that makes you so addicted that forces you to believe that the person who is responsible for destroying your world is the one you can’t live without.

Image: Sebastian Cvitanic

Stephanie Reeds