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To The Woman Who Is Dating My A**hole Of An Ex-Boyfriend


I know about you. I heard about your relationship with him, and sincerely the news caught me off guard.

When we were together I really thought that he was the perfect man for me. I believed that what we had was true love. I was wrong. It was never a real love. Maybe only a passionate and a toxic obsession with one another.

And when I saw you two together I saw that his charm and charisma are still there. It’s like years and years have passed but he hasn’t changed a bit. I suppose he didn’t change his toxic behavior as well.

I heard you plan a future with him. I did once too. I wanted to marry him at one point in my life until I realized what my life would be like with him. It would have been a life full of control and competition. I would have been miserable, desperately trying to satisfy his need for admiration and attention. I wouldn’t have been happy with him, ever.

I want to tell you that I’ve seen all. I went through it all, and I promise you – he will never change.

And even though I don’t know you personally, I really do think that you deserve someone better. Everyone deserves a trusting, loving, and supportive partner. Someone who apologizes instead of putting the blame on you. Someone who doesn’t bring you down, but respects you and knows your worth.

Everyone deserves someone who will fight for them and will actually care if they lost them and not someone who quickly replaces them with another one. And trust me, this is the pattern that he is accustomed to.  

I didn’t know this back then. I realized it when I’ve felt what was like to be with someone who does love me. Someone who is real and who really cared about me and my feelings.

Because love is not controlling. Love does not imprison you. Love doesn’t raise its voice. Love doesn’t insult. Love doesn’t make you feel sad. Love doesn’t hurt you on purpose. And all this was ‘love’ according to him.

I don’t know you and maybe you don’t know me either, but I want to tell you that you deserve better. Don’t make the same mistakes as me. Don’t waste your time on a toxic love.

Image: Nadia

Mary Wright