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Time to Move on or Take the Next Step


There comes a time in life when it feels as though all your friends are getting married and your weekends are caught up with engagement celebrations, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and weddings. This can lead you to think about your relationship and whether or not you are ready to take the next step or if it is time to move on. Whilst it is natural to feel a little apprehensive about spending the rest of your life with one person, some signs clearly show whether you are ready to commit to a lifetime together or not. (1)

Be secure in yourself

If you are settled in your own life are at least fairly certain who you are as a person, this security can help maintain security in a marriage, particularly if you and your significant other feel secure independently and can work as a team moving forward.

To feel secure independently requires some experience of independence, whether that means living along or being financially independent. This builds self-confidence and increased awareness of what you want in a relationship which you can communicate with your partner, which makes you both more likely to have a successful marriage.

You are together past the honeymoon stage

New relationships are exciting, and it is easy only to concentrate on all that is good between you. As the honeymoon stage passes, you begin to see things that you may not like or agree with. If you still love the person for who they are, you can say yes to are you ready for marriage? Even if you love your current beau very much, if you still spend time dwelling on thoughts about a former partner, even if it was due to a bad break-up, this would indicate that you are not ready to take the next step. (2)

Financial compatibility

Having debts or a low-paying job are not a bar to getting married. What is important is how you manage finances and if your partner is on the same page as you are. This means being open about wages, levels of debt and how that is being paid off, whether you want separate or joint accounts, how you will handle bills, and what your feelings are about savings.

What does your future look like?

Marriage is one of the biggest commitments made in a lifetime. Do you see your significant other as being included in the life decisions that you make then you are ready to marriage? This does not mean you have to be joined at the hip, but that you can compromise on how your lives run and the boundaries you accept. If this thought fills you with dread, you are not ready to be wed.

When you are ready to spend the rest of your life with the same person, to include the other person when deciding how often you go out with your own friends if vacations are planned together and how family holidays are dealt with and much more, you are ready to take the next step.

If you and your partner have different beliefs, if you are unable to agree on what faith your children will be raised in, this is likely to cause a rift in the relationship that cannot be overcome. If you have fundamental differences in your morals and ideas, this may also cause issues in your marriage unless you come to some agreement. Seek help to work through conflicts like these so that you both feel heard and understood. Conflict resolution is an essential skill in every marriage.

David Smith