Hello, I am the girl who has always relied on her romantic relationships.
It’s not that I don’t believe in friendships. Ever since I was a little girl, my biggest dream was to fit in somewhere. There was nothing that I wanted more than to be a part of something. I wanted to belong somewhere. I wanted to be understood and seen for who I truly am. I wanted to find my soul mate. My friend for life.
But, life wasn’t always nice to me. It didn’t always happen according to my plans.
Life as this unpredictable, amazing but at the same time terrifying ride, brought me more disappointments than blessings. My friendships were never meant to last a lifetime. It was as if I was some kind of magnet for broken, insecure, weak people who needed someone to guide them.
One by one, the people I thought were my friends, disappointed me.
But, you know how it goes. Sometimes you need to experience the worst in life, to get to the best.
As time was passing by, I realized something. It somehow became more important for me to find a stable partner, who would at the same time be my best friend, lover and a soulmate. Of course, I also made some awesome friendships along the way. But, from that moment on, my first priority was a partner.
And so, I found him. I met a man who gave me everything I ever wanted. I met the love of my life. My best friend. My everything. Everything I looked for in a person was already in him. He was more than just a lover, he was my partner. My teammate. My fellow companion. My second self. The shelter I so desperately searched for.
So, here I am. This is my confession. I love and respect my friends. I’m truly thankful for each and every person in my life, but my priority will always be my partner.
I don’t mean to hurt you. That is just the way I feel.
And I won’t be sorry about it. I won’t let anyone shame me for it.
Because he… he is everything my heart desired. He is more similar to me than any friend of mine. He sees me for who I am. He accepts me for who I am. He makes me the happiest person alive. He looks at the world through the same glasses. He is there for me more than any other friend ever was.
We do fight. But, we know each other’s souls. We know what we are made of. We have faced each other’s demons. We’ve been through everything together. So, this is more than just a romantic affair. This is more than any friendship I’ve ever had.
Some of you will be quick to label me as an overly attached girlfriend who has completely lost herself. But, I don’t care. That is the way I feel and no amount of criticism will ever make me doubt my choices.
I like to spend most of my time with my partner. Because at the end of the day, he is the only person who knows exactly how I breathe. He is the only human who knows the rhythm my heart beats in.
I won’t apologize for it. I won’t let you ruin it for me. There’s so much sadness and misery in this cruel world to give up on the things that make me happy and bring us eternal peace.
