Why do people change to find love?
Why do they desperately try to make themselves look perfect in the eyes of others?
Why do they erase their identities to fit in?
Is perfection really the thing that we really yearn for?
I know, I know, these are a lot of questions. But they are the questions that I admit, took me a long time to answer them. Questions that were on my mind for a big part of my life until the answers finally came to me.
The truth is, we are too insecure and afraid when it comes to finding love. Most of the time, we are not aware of our worth, and so as a result we attract those types of people. People who cannot accept us, people who cannot love us for who we are. People who would do anything to change. And that leaves a scar you know? It marks you for life. It convinces you that you will never be enough for other people. Fills your heart with fears and insecurities. And ultimately, it forces you to change. To transform into someone you aren’t. To become a person you don’t like.
What I want to know is this.
Is it worth it? Is it really worth all the struggle when you know that the things you get in return will probably never satisfy you?
I don’t know what you think love is, but it’s definitely not about pretending to be someone people like. Love is about acceptance, understanding and being there for another human being, through thick and thin.
The right person for you will do all of this and more.
They won’t mind your flaws and they won’t judge your weirdness. If anything, they will love it. They will appreciate you for your differences and respect your unique nature. They will join you in your weirdness and fall in love with you even more so.
The right person is not going to be annoyed by your intensity. They are not going to stop you from being who you are, hush you, or avoid hearing what you have to say. They will carefully listen to your opinions and will try to understand them, no matter how different they may be from theirs. Yes, there will be moments when they will fight with you, moments when they’ll be angry at you. But they’ll never ever dare to ruin what you two have by holding a grudge.
The right person won’t be bothered by your sudden mood swings and your meltdowns. They aren’t going to run for the hills the minute they see you frowning or crying. They are never going to leave you when you need them the most. They will not allow you to go through your struggles on your own. Instead, they will be there, holding your hand, wiping your tears, and doing their best to put a smile on your face.
The person won’t mind your overthinking. They won’t find your habit of over-analyzing everything annoying. On the contrary, they will understand you, because in the end, we are all different and that’s okay. They will do their best to calm your insecurities and hush those fears inside of you by being there for you.
So, you see… In the end, it doesn’t matter how fat, slim, short, tall, ugly, or weird you are. There will always be someone who sees the real beauty in you. Someone who will love you for all those things that other people judge you. Someone who will open their arms and offer their heart as a shelter. Someone who will love your curves and all of your edges. Someone who will fall in love with your perfect imperfections…
Someone who will finally help you open your eyes and see your worth.