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The Psychological Reason Why We Sabotage Our Own Success That Has Nothing To Do With Lacking Confidence


Perhaps you know by experience that you can achieve the things you put your mind and energy to. You can have the job you want, the love you always dreamed of, and the income you need to live your life comfortably. Perhaps you know that you can make a career out of your hobby and be your own boss.

However, have you ever thought of using all your energy and willpower to calm yourself from all the worries and become more emotionally and mentally stable?  

Have you ever thought of making yourself happy every day to be your greatest achievement? Have you ever thought of eating healthy and train your mind to think positively to be your ultimate goal?

I suppose not. If you are like me, you were taught that success is limited and you can’t have it anytime you want. And that’s why we are not going after it. It is not that we are playing victims, or we are lazy or scared, or not smart and capable enough. It’s that sometimes we don’t want the kind of success other people are pursuing.

And it is really a virtue of our strength of character and our authentic nature to not want what others want.

Because it’s true: some people do limit their success but not because they don’t think they can’t achieve it or they are not good enough, but because they know that it is not something they want deep in their heart.

Those people don’t need more time, more energy, or more motivation. They don’t need to convince themselves to do the thing society thinks it’s what will make them happy. They don’t need a career everyone will be envious of.

Maybe they want simple things. Maybe making million dollars, becoming famous, and traveling the world is not their thing. Maybe they sabotage themselves going after these things because they know it’s not what they want. They unconsciously stop themselves from going after the things they supposedly want because maybe they don’t actually want them the way they think they do.

And this is what’s beautiful about people. Their actions always speak louder than their words. You may think you want to be a world-known singer or a successful CEO, but when you get on stage or in your office, you feel anxious and depressed. That’s your intuition telling you to get out as quickly as possible.

In this case, self-sabotage hasn’t anything to do with confidence or lack thereof. Rather, it’s about the fact that you cannot reject your heart desires. Even when you try to convince yourself you want something, your body and soul reject it.

The truth is, no one sabotages their own luck and success by accident.

When we really want something, we do our best to achieve it. 

Mary Wright