What happens when an extremely empathic individual gets in a relationship with a toxic narcissistic person who has an immense sense of entitlement and lacks empathy? What do you think the outcome of this union would be? Dangerous and painful – for the empath.
There is one thing that is common for all narcissists – they are emotionally wounded people.
Perhaps it is due to an unresolved childhood trauma that has scarred them for life. Maybe they have been feeling undervalued, worthless and unappreciated during a certain period of their life and that’s what made them to constantly seek validation and admiration from other people.
On the other side of the coin, we have empaths – the society’s healers.
They are those highly sensitive and empathetic souls out there who have an ability to feel the emotions of other people as their own. All they want is to protect and help everyone in need, so they will also try to heal the pain and the emotional wounds that the narcissists have. But, these genuine virtues of the empaths can soon become their downfall if they are not being careful.
Therefore, when these two opposing personalities get together, the attraction is insatiably enormous – but dangerously toxic.
This is because the empath cannot see the dark side of the narcissist. A narcissist is someone who has an ability to suck the life and soul out of everyone they have a close contact with. It is their way to feel needed and validated by making other people unbalanced, fragile, and so miserable that they can start using them for future needs.
The empath can’t figure out what is going on in this situation. The empath may not be even aware that they are dealing with a narcissist because of their sensitivity and empathic nature make them see only the good in people.
Empaths have a tendency of thinking that everyone is as good as they are and that people are actually good at heart. This gullible nature however genuine and admirable can be extremely detrimental to them because not every person is as good and sincere as they are. After all, different people have different agendas.
Narcissists manipulate – that’s their agenda. They treat other people as their “validation tool” to satisfy their immense need for rising above them. Empaths, on the other hands, have an agenda of care, healing, and love.
There could never be a balance between these two opposing natures.
However, if they happen to get into a relationship with one another, the relationship will quickly become a vicious cycle of lies and manipulation and it will be almost impossible for the empath to get out. Because the more love and affection that the empath unconditionally gives to the narcissist, the more in control the narcissist feels.
The empath will soon become so wounded that they’ll start feeling like a victim which, in turn, makes them vulnerable for acquiring some narcissistic traits themselves.
When the narcissist realizes that the empath is in pain, that gives the narcissist a sense of validation and feeds their ego. The sadder the empath feels – the happier the narcissist is. The sad and wounded empath will then begin seeking for feelings of support, validation, and love from the narcissist.
At this critical point, the empath is focusing solely on their feelings of dissatisfaction and pain and they desperately look for feelings of love and validation, failing to realize that they are not the ones to blame for their condition because the damage is coming from the narcissist.
It is crucial for the empath to wake up and understand this before it’s too late and they become just as self-absorbed as the narcissist themselves. Because the reality is, every deeply hurt person is vulnerable to become a narcissist.
So, how can an empath stop this vicious cycle and put an end to the pain and the damage of the relationship with a narcissist?
It’s important to understand that every plan of the empath for having an honest conversation with a narcissist is pointless and useless because the narcissist even though is very charming and charismatic, is an extremely manipulative individual as well, and they will try to put all the blame on the empath. The empath will then start feeling guilty and responsible for all the things that went wrong in the relationship.
Instead, the empath should accept the fact that the narcissist cannot change, ever. And trying to change them or waiting for them to change and realize their wrongdoings is a waste of a precious time.
In the end, we let other people treat us as we believe we deserve to be treated. So, if the empath chooses to accept any kind of mistreatment and decides to willingly stay in a toxic and abusive relationship where their feelings are hurt every time – it is the empath’s way of thinking that they don’t deserve anything better than that.
This is not true. Empaths must realize that it is not their job to heal and fix others, especially not those who don’t want to be fixed and are not aware of their destructive behavior.
Empaths must understand that the treatment they get from the narcissists is not a treatment they deserve and they must find a courage to utterly walk away from them.