Oftentimes, we hear the term ‘narcissist’ and we instantly think of someone hungry for attention and admiration. Someone highly obsessed with the way they look and so in love with themselves that they don’t have the capacity to love another human being. Or is it so? Is there more to them?
Everyone who was involved in some way with a narcissist will agree that their perception of themselves is completely different compared to others. They view themselves in a high light which makes others feel less worthy. And here’s the thing – everything is always about them. And if you think that their mindset is only acceptable for a 2-year-old, it might come as a shock to you seeing a 40-year-old needing and asking for the same amount of attention and appreciation.
Narcissists are people who victimize everyone around them just by their presence. Their behavior will never change. If you’ve ever worked for a boss who was a narcissist or you lived with one, you know how they have the power to make you emotionally and physically ill.
Narcissists feel as if they are so special that they are the only ones who matter. And their behavior that is a result of their pathological traits can inflict so much pain and suffering to everyone who gets involved with them.
But what goes inside their mind?
1. I love who I am, and I know you love me too. In fact, I am sure everyone loves me. They can’t help it.
2. I don’t need to apologize to anyone. You must accept, understand, and tolerate me regardless of what I say or do.
3. I am the best. I have not yet met my equal, even though I suppose there are some out there.
4. I must always lead others and be in control. Without me, they are nothing.
5. I know that this world is made of rules and obligations, but I don’t have to abide by them. Those are for average people. I am not average.
6. I am amazing and faultless, and you should appreciate me for it.
7. I will constantly remind you of my greatness.
8. I expect you to always be faithful to me. But don’t expect the same in return.
9. I will criticize whenever I want and feel like it. You should understand that I do that for your own good. However, if you try to criticize me, especially in public, then I’ll get enraged and you better watch out.
10. I expect you to be grateful even for the smallest things I do. And I expect you to obey everything I ask you. No, I am not manipulative. I just want things to be done my way.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you will never be treated as an equal partner. They will devalue you, manipulate you, hurt you, and abuse you mentally and/or physically. They do it because they have a need to obtain control and power over you.
You will get used to feeling anxious, losing sleep, feeling restless, worried, and less in control. Those feelings are your gut telling you to escape from the narcissist and save yourself.
Listen to it!