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Stop Telling Me You Are Fine When Clearly You Are Not


There are many people who go through life wearing masks and hiding their own feelings because they want to be seen as “the strong one,” “the collected one,” “the one who has it together,” “the cheerful and careless one.”

They hide behind these false guises because they don’t want other people to see them struggle. They don’t want anyone to see the sadness and pain inside them. Therefore, they always say they are fine and act happy even when they are not.

Why? Why are people nowadays afraid of being vulnerable and raw?

Perhaps it is because people expect you to be always happy and have your life together, especially if you’ve been presenting yourself that way your whole life.

That’s why when you reveal your true feelings to someone they often don’t know how to react, and they dismiss you because they prefer you to be falsely happy than honestly sad. They don’t want to go to the trouble and deal with your hardships and struggles. Because people are usually selfish.

As for me, I would rather disappoint some people by being my raw and authentic self than pretend I am someone I am not and deplete myself trying to obtain a “perfect” façade.

Usually, when we ask someone “how are you doing?” we expect to hear “I am doing fine” in response. And if someone actually has “the audacity” to tell us that they are not okay, that they are struggling, we don’t know what to do. And that’s because when we ask someone how they are doing, we ask out of politeness and not because we are genuinely interested in their emotional wellbeing.

I want to change that. And I understand that the change must come from within first, so I will do it. I will change myself. I will be more open, raw, and honest.

I will practice honesty every day. I want to inspire people to be themselves, to get rid of the masks, and offer each other love and acceptance.

I say ‘NO’ to hiding feelings. I say ‘NO’ to masking the pain. I say ‘NO’ to saying you are fine when clearly you are not.

We are all flawed human beings hungry for love and connection. Let’s be honest and nice to each other. We all deserve that.

Mary Wright