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Stop Seeing Only The Good In People And Pay Attention To What They Show You

Stop Seeing Only The Good In People And Pay Attention To What They Show You

I am a person who has always believed in the good in people. No matter how many times I’ve been disappointed, hurt, betrayed, deceived and underestimated by others, I’ve always found a way to convince myself that “They didn’t really mean it. I am sure that deep down, they are a good person.”

But, guess what?

Not every person actually is. Some people hurt others to feel better about themselves. Some do it because revenge is what helps them sleep. And some because they have to let go of all that negativity and toxicity somehow.

The truth is, it took me quite a while to get my head around this. But, after surviving the most devastating period of my life and somehow accepting the fact that I got betrayed by the person I never thought could hurt me, I woke up. It all became clear to me.

People will undoubtedly make mistakes. None of us is perfect. But it is the immediate reaction upon making that mistake that determines the true character of people. Actions do speak louder than words.

It is time to stop seeing only the good in people and start focusing on what they really want to show you!

Here are 8 toxic behaviors that you should never tolerate:

1. Controlling partner. A healthy and long-lasting relationship can only survive if two people give their word to put their best efforts into making things work. Not by dominating or controlling the other person. Love is about being free, not possessing someone else.

2. Disrespect. You cannot expect respect from someone who insults you and openly attacks you. If someone puts you down, emotionally harasses you and does everything to make you feel uncomfortable, they do it because they really mean it. Don’t tolerate such toxic behaviors.

3. Violation of boundaries. We all cross a boundary every now and then, usually without the intention of doing so. And it’s no big deal. You make sure you apologize and never do it again. But there is a big difference between making a mistake and crossing someone’s boundaries on purpose after someone has done everything to establish and preserve them. That, right there is toxic behavior.   

4. Negativity. It is your choice who you let in your life and what you let them do to you. The people who surround us should bring out the best in us. They should inspire us, motivate us, lift us up. Not make us doubt ourselves.

5. Emotional unavailability. This is clear as a day. An emotionally unavailable person who cannot commit to anything other than a one-night stand is not to be trusted. This person is not capable of giving you what you need.

6. Gaslighting. This is a power play, a toxic method that manipulators use to weaken you and shake your self-confidence by distorting your perceptions of reality and making you sound like a fool. The gaslighter usually knows your deepest insecurities and takes advantage of them.

7. Body shaming. Keep in mind that a person who comments your look criticizes you based on your appearance or starts shaming you for gaining weight doesn’t mean well. If they make you feel bad about yourself, they don’t deserve to be a part of your life.

8. Belittling your accomplishments. People who put you down and diminish your achievements by making themselves seem superior are jealous of your success. They would die to be you. And believe me, if they had the chance, they would harm you to get what they want. Never tolerate this kind of behavior.

Stephanie Reeds