I think that we are all guilty of believing for a certain amount of time that the messier and the more difficult the relationship, the stronger the love between two people.
We were programmed to believe that because arguments and conflicts were a vital part of every love movie we watched as kids. Every romantic show, every novel, every story is based on conflict and drama between the lovers.
We have grown to believe that only a love that is difficult is real and worth fighting for. That’s not true and here’s why.
Because love is not supposed to make you feel bad. Love is not supposed to cause you agony and sadness. It is supposed to make you happy and ease your life, not complicate it.
The thing is, we romanticize fighting because we think one fights because they are in love with the other person without thinking that maybe they are just difficult to love and they are that way regardless of the person they are with.
Because the right love is easy. The right person is not hard to love.
The right love feels calm. It is peaceful. It is agreeing with each other instead of fighting. It is building up each other and not tearing down each other.
Conflict shouldn’t have a place in a loving relationship because love relationships should be harmonious and drama-free. After all, there is nothing romantic about two people who separated because they couldn’t make it work.
Of course, conflict is bound to happen in every relationship. However, the difference between healthy and unhealthy ones is that in a loving and healthy relationship both partners work together as a team to overcome any obstacle and solve the conflict.
If you constantly break up and make up with your partner, then I am sorry, but they are the wrong person for you and what you have is not real love – it’s an obsession.
Love should feel like the easiest thing on the planet. It should be like breathing, easy and effortless, but essential for living.
Love should be simple. And if it’s not, then it is not real.
I am currently writing my first book titled “Inside The Narcissist’s Psyche: His Ability To Make Victims Stay With Him Even Though The Pain They’re Feeling Is Unbearable” If you are interested to take a glimpse at it, follow this link and tell us whether you like the subject so that we can send you a free chapter after we publish it.