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It’s Fine To Take Your Time Because Love Cannot Be Forced

It’s Fine To Take Your Time Because Love Cannot Be Forced

Rushing to finish college, rushing to get a job, rushing to buy that shampoo on discount, rushing to get married…

We live our lives in a rush. We live our lives in small-sized boxes of cereal, in small cups of coffee. Everything is pre-planned, everything is timed.

I think we are in such a rush that we have forgotten to live, and we have forgotten the value of taking things slow. Step by step. After all, love cannot be forced. You can get a random job until you find the job you really want because someone has to pay the bills, right? But you cannot be in a quasi-relationship and expect to be happy.

Love is one of those slugs you see after the rain. It comes slow. And it’s better that way. It means it’s there to stay.

Don’t give in to social pressure. Who cares if you are single? Well, you care, but not other people. Your friends and family will love you the same whether you are single or in a relationship. To them, nothing changes. You are you and they love you for who you are, not because you are dating a random person or some CEO for that matter. 

Loneliness teaches us a lot and we shouldn’t run away from it like it’s an illness or whatever.

Perfect couples don’t exist. I mean, our ideals of perfect couples are what? Romeo and Juliet? Well, let me remind you – Romeo and Juliet was a tragedy. Tristan and Isolde? Another tragedy.

Passion is nice and all, it gives you this rush of adrenaline. It makes you fall in love head over heels with someone you, let’s face it, don’t really know. People hide their true colors, and even if they don’t, it’s hard to get to know someone right away. It takes years. Hell, we don’t even know ourselves fully, let alone other people.

So, for all those wondering, it’s fine. It’s fine taking your time before rushing into a relationship you are not sure about. We never skip stages like passion and romance, but we shouldn’t skip the “get to know the person you are dating” stage too.

Yes, get to know that person, hang out with them. Talk. Like really, really talk with them. Talk about random stuff as well as about the deeper meaning of life. See if you like their ideas, their perspectives on life. Analyze. Be analytical.

Before jumping into a relationship, make sure you know how much it means to you and how much you are willing to be invested in that relationship. Not getting too excited, not being blinded by passion is a good thing once you are ready to start something serious with someone.

When you try to light a fire, sometimes strong winds will start blowing. However, fire blazes the sky with equal light–that which starts burning within an instant and that for which you had to put in some effort.

It’s the same intensity, so time makes no difference, it does not diminish the passion. It only reinforces communication, it makes you well acquainted with the person you are with, and it makes you confident in your decisions.

Knowing that you made the right choice after the wait and after taking the time to get to know your partner is soothing and empowering. Embrace the power that comes with time and with slow actions.

Nora Connel