Home Psychology If You Want To Raise Successful Kids Focus On Kindness, Not On...

If You Want To Raise Successful Kids Focus On Kindness, Not On Achievement

If You Want To Raise Successful Kids Focus On Kindness, Not On Achievement

Every parent wants the best for their kids. Most of them want their kids to be successful in life. However, while we are doing what we can to help them get on the right path and succeed in life, it is important that we choose the right approach.

Adam Grant, a Wharton celebrity psychologist, says that when parents focus only on success that has negative consequences for their children. According to him and his wife, Allison Sweet Grant, more than 90% of the parents say that their child’s caring is their number one priority. However, when you ask them what they want for their children, 81% say that they value success and achievement over kindness and caring, a Harvard research finds.

Their words are not matching the reality. Or in Grant’s words, “kids learn what’s important to adults not by listening to what we say, but by noticing what gets our attention.” 

Parents want their children to be successful and caring at the same time, however, they focus too much on the successful part which causes a deficiency in the second.

Kindness and success go hand in hand. In fact, by focusing on being kind and caring brings more success. The Grants even say that “quite a bit of evidence suggests that children who help others end up achieving more than those who don’t.”

Therefore, by teaching your children to be kind and caring humans, you also turn them into successful individuals.

Give your kids a chance to practice kindness. Encourage them to care for others by letting them see you how you are kind to everyone. Practice being kind every day.

Be tough when you notice unkind behavior. Also, be fair and be hard on yourself when you are being unkind. Then, talk with your children and explain to them why that kind of behavior is not right.

When you make kindness a habit, then your children will grow up to be naturally gentle, kind, and caring. And then, success will follow.

Mary Wright