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I Want To Know I’ll Be Okay After The Scars Of Painful Memories And Toxic Relationships

i'll be okay

No other person goes through pain the same way. Our sorrows are unique in their own way. They are like bits and pieces, like pebbles. But those pebbles, when put together, they form the essence of our soul.

My essence is all those pebbles: emotional highs and lows. I’ve been through them all, and I’ve lived. But often at a high cost. 

I want to be happy. I don’t just want to say that I’ve survived a breakup, a fall out. I want to say I can look in that person’s eyes and not be triggered by our painful past. 

I want to say my day didn’t get ruined after being reminded of hurtful memories. I want to say I can move on with my life unbothered by fake friends, lousy relationships, selfish, back-stabbing coworkers, and I want my soul’s fire to be ignited and to burn stronger than ever. 

I want it to outshine the essence of my soul and the darkness of failed relationships. 

I want to know that what happened between us did not define me, did not change me. 

I want to know that I will be okay on my own. Happy and fulfilled. I want to know that I will find my place in this world even though maybe I am still searching. 

I want to protect my heart; put it in a nutshell and save it from what’s draining its energy. 

I don’t want to be crushed by anger, disappointment, frustration, and toxic relationships. I don’t want my world to be torn apart and I don’t want to be consumed by loneliness. 

I want to be my savior. I want to rescue myself.

I want to feel everything I am supposed to feel, but I want to know that I will be okay after the drama and the shattered pieces of glass. 

I want to know I will clean out the emotional mass and I will move on, for I will know nothing else. Nothing else but strength, zeal for life, and a smile that will help others be lifted up. 


Nora Connel