I never deserved this. I never did anything to you to be treated this way.
I keep thinking where I went wrong…
The truth is, my only mistake was trusting you.
All I wanted was to be loved the same way that I loved you. All I needed from you was to be there for me the same way that I was for you. That was all. Love was all I needed. A warm, gentle kiss on my forehead was all I craved. An honest, loving and mature person was all I ever wanted…
And what did I get?
A spoilt, immature, manipulative individual who only used me until he got completely bored of me.
You broke my heart. You destroyed my world. You shattered my dreams and you took away all of my hopes. You left me with nothing. All because you decided that you want to mess up someone’s life just so you can feel better about yours. Because you never cared about anyone’s feelings than your own.
I made the biggest mistake of my life believing in you…
But I never thought you could turn out to be so cruel and egotistical.
You could have told me. You could have talked to me. You could have found a way to make your intentions clear. You could have done anything to let me know how you feel. You could have told me that you don’t love me anymore.
You could have walked away without breaking my heart.
I was ready to part ways with you peacefully, but you took that away from me. Because that is how much you cared for me. Yes, it took me a while to understand this, but now everything’s clear as a day. You never loved me the way I loved you. And even though I am finally okay with that, I will never ever forgive you for leaving me the way you did.
I never deserved to go through this. I never deserved the pain that you brought me.
You ripped my heart from my chest, and you tore it to pieces. Because of you, I am afraid to let someone in my life again. Because of you, I am no longer sure if love really exists. Because of you, I don’t dare to show someone who I really am. Because of you, I am broken beyond repair.
The trauma that you forced me to go through changed my life to the core. The pain that you inflicted on me made me lose my sense of self. It made me weaker, more afraid and even more isolated than I’ve been before. You forced me to build my walls and raise my guards so high up, that no person could ever walk into my life as easily as you did.
You destroyed me.
But know this.
I will never let you win. I may be weak today, but I will regain my strength.
One day, I will find my happiness far away from you.