For so long, you were my main focus. You completely occupied my thoughts, my dreams, my life, and just about anything else that you could. How could you not? You truly were everything that I thought I wanted. Because of that, I loved you more than anything else.
That’s why it was so hard for me to accept that I would never be your priority. Either I would have to give up or continue on leading a life of disappointment. So, I chose to leave. Now, I may have stopped chasing you, but I still long to be with you.
A Girl, Obsessed
All I ever really saw was you, and I wanted your attention so badly. I craved your adoration, your love. That need in me was so strong that I would do whatever I thought was necessary to get it.
So, I obsessed over you. I tried tirelessly to get you to pay attention to me by sending you text after text, invite after invite. To the outside world, I probably just seemed like some pathetic, lovestruck girl, but all I thought was that I was a girl in love.
When you didn’t reply to my messages, I couldn’t take the hint. Instead, I’d just keep trying, keep reaching out to get your response.
It broke my heart every time you declined my invitations. Still, I would keep on asking you to hang out, to go for a drink, to come to parties. If you said “no,” then fine, I would just ask again next time.
There Were So Many Excuses
I guess I just couldn’t accept that you didn’t want to be with me. That part of me that loved you more than the air I breathe wouldn’t allow me to believe that you didn’t want me back.
That’s why I needed to make excuses for you.
Instead of moving on from you, I told myself that you were just nervous about entering a new relationship. If I gave you enough time and tried hard enough, you’d eventually get over that fear.
No matter how uninterested you seemed, I always had an excuse ready. I needed you to love me the way that I loved you.
You Didn’t Try
No matter how many compliments I gave you, the ways I dressed up for you, or the many hours I spent trying to contact you, you never reciprocated. You stayed distant.
How could I blame you for that? The heart wants what the heart wants, and in your case, it didn’t want me. I couldn’t be mad at you for that. I couldn’t feel betrayed by you for that. You had never led me on in any way, I had done that to myself.
Despite that, my heart ached. I couldn’t continue on with this fruitless chase that was slowly draining me of my energy and joy. I needed to stop chasing you – so I did.
Although my time running after you has ended, my feelings are still as strong as ever. I can’t give up on my love for you just yet, but I can do what I know is best for both of us. Unless I end this, I will never be free, and you will always be followed by a girl that you don’t care about. This ends here, but I have no bad feelings towards you.
To the person reading this who is still chasing after someone who doesn’t love them back, please let them go. Despite how hard it may be, it’s the only way for you to be truly happy.
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