The decision of whether to have children or not is personal and neither society nor other people should have a say in it. Nowadays, there are many people who are consciously choosing to not have children and that is okay.
The reason(s) for their decision are different and depend on their situation and view of the world. Some choose to remain childfree because they want to focus on their careers, some to travel, and some simply because they don’t want to have children. And that’s it. It doesn’t mean that they are selfish or that they don’t like children. It only means that they don’t like to have children on their own.
As for me, you may say that I am the “selfish” one. I prefer quiet places and to drink my cup of coffee in peace and not with the sound of squealing children around me. There are people who enjoy having fun activities with their kids or nieces and nephews. I am not one of them. They are too much for me. They want constant attention.
Honestly, I am sick and tired of people asking me when I will have children. I won’t. It is my decision, and no one has the right to judge me. I am sick and tired of constantly trying to explain my decision to people who don’t share my view and they are looking at me like I am the worst person. A monster.
Most importantly, I don’t think that my duty as a woman is to give life to another person. Some people are meant to have children and they are wonderful parents. Some want children but they are bad at raising them into decent human beings. Me, I don’t think I have the patience or the love to be a mother.
Call me selfish, but I love different things. I have plans and goals in life that don’t include pushing another person out of my vagina.
Don’t get me wrong. I do admire people who have chosen to be parents because I suppose the journey of parenthood has not been an easy one for them – from hormones making you feel crazy to getting accustomed to a life with little sleep and no time for yourself… it is a great sacrifice to say at least.
Some people say that there is no better and more rewarding feeling in the world than having children, but I think that that’s only a matter of perspective. For me, I get that good and rewarding feeling from other things. I enjoy my alone time; I enjoy reading a book with a cup of coffee in the morning without a small human shouting “MOM!” every 2 minutes. I love going out with friends and talking to them without a kid constantly tugging my arm for attention. And I am absolutely grateful and happy for my clean and tidy apartment that hasn’t sticky finger marks everywhere.
Plus, I can travel as much as I want because I do relish a life of freedom. I can also decorate and light candles in my home as much as I want without fear of a kid breaking my things and knocking over my candles and burning down my apartment. I can also enjoy drinking wine in the peace of my own company.
If you consider this to be selfish, then call me selfish. It is your opinion. But, stop asking me why I chose this life. I don’t judge you for being a parent. So, why do you think my childfree life is an insult to you?