It’s finally a time for me to let go of past wounds, past hurts, and anything that brought me down the last few years or so. For a whole year, I waited patiently for you to get your shit together and make things work between us.
But, I am done. Even though I know it is going to hurt me, I am done. I am letting you go because I cannot do this to myself anymore. I cannot torture myself trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
Because you are not someone who is going to be there for me. You are not someone who will have my back. You are someone who is always leaving me out in the cold. You are someone who never follows through with plans. And I am sick of it. I can’t take it anymore.
I am sick of you always going in and out of my life. I am sorry, but you are not allowed back into my life anymore.
Even though I love you, I learned how to love myself again – something which I forgot to do a long time ago.
I gave and gave and gave to you and you never gave back. It was a painful and exhausting process and I am scared. I am scared of not having anything to give to anyone because you left me feeling empty.
You meant everything to me. And it took a hell lot of courage to finally admit to myself that I must let you go and look for myself because you never would.
I cannot bleed any longer. I cannot keep on hurting. I can’t.
I lost myself in the process of loving you and I must find myself again. I owe that to myself. Because it breaks my heart seeing that the once happiest, cheerful, loving, and optimistic woman has turned into a sad and bitter one. I turned into someone who couldn’t trust anyone anymore, and it’s hurting me because I was always a believer.
And I don’t care how long it will take me, but I will find that woman inside me. I will become that woman again.
Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things in life. But, even harder is realizing that the person you love is never going to love you and treat you the way you deserve to be loved and treated.
And I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be loved. I deserve someone who will be sure of me. Someone whose love I won’t have to question. Someone who wants to be with me now. Not in a few weeks or months… NOW!