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How to Find a Good Marriage Counselor That Will Solve All Your Problems

Marriage counseling can make or break your marriage. You cannot go wrong with a marriage counselor. Learn how to find a good marriage counselor here.

They say, happy wife, happy life. They also say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

All cliches aside, divorce rates are high, so everyone in a relationship has to put their ideals aside to work together. A happy and successful marriage only happens when you put your heads and hearts together to make it work.

Knowing how to find a good marriage counselor is the first step. Here are all the ways you can get the best marriage counselor possible.

Find Someone That Has Training and Qualifications

Any marriage counselor should have qualifications that are easy to verify.

You can get advice from anyone, but a marriage counselor should be a licensed and trained therapist. Verify first what college degrees they have and where they received them.

Ask them when they passed their medical boards and how long they have had their counseling license. The longer they have been around giving professional counseling to married couples, the better they will be in a place for you to trust them.

Be Sure That They Have the Ability to Be Impartial

No one wants to feel like they are under attack. Since you are going to a counselor to make your relationship better, it has to be a safe place for both of you.

Don’t choose a therapist that choose one side or the other. Also, don’t choose a counselor that doesn’t put the success of the marriage as the top priority.

Some therapists lean toward helping people figure out if they want a divorce as opposed to the success of the marriage. Divorce should always be on the table for a failed marriage, but an impartial therapist can help you work on the strategies that will actually help to save the relationship.

Look Into Some Different Counseling Styles

Just because marriage counselors are in the same line of work doesn’t mean they go about business the same way. There are all sorts of counseling styles that professionals use.

Psychodynamic counseling, existential therapy, humanistic counseling, interpersonal counseling, mindfulness counseling, and cognitive behavioral therapy are just a few of the styles that you might get.

No school of thought is right or wrong. The thing to think about is which style fits your personality and the relationship.

A different counseling style might also work better based on your relationship goals.

Know What You Need to Get Out of Going to the Marriage Counselor

There are always different reasons for going to the counselor. It’s always a good idea to get therapy, even if you don’t have anything currently wrong that you need to work through. This will teach you how to communicate with each other and will also make it easier to understand one another.

If you do have a major problem that you need to work through, you should state the specific goal. People that are dealing with infidelity or parenting differences should specifically state these issues so that they can start working through the problems one by one.

The better you know yourselves upfront, the better you can move forward as a couple through some solid counseling.

Assess Their Personality and Communication Styles

Therapists are also human beings so don’t just put all of your stock in their medical experience. You still need to find someone that is friendly and easy to talk to.

Energetically, they should put you at ease every time you speak with them. Their personality traits should match both what you and your husband or wife respond to. This way, you can start your sessions at neutral, rather than in the negative because your counselor’s personality already rubs you or the other partner the wrong way.

Use a Counselor That You Can Afford

Make sure that affordability is something that you put as a priority.

Going to the counselor is something that you will have to do once a week at a minimum if you want it to be effective. This is another bill that you will have to add to your living expenses.

If every counseling session costs $50 to $100, you need to be sure that it isn’t an issue for you to swing it. If one or both of you has health insurance that covers counseling, definitely find a therapist that is in your network.

Think About Any Spiritual or Religious Beliefs

The bonding and unity of your marriage is also a spiritual thing. You need to be sure that your counselor matches your spiritual beliefs.

If you both have a strong faith leaning, then perhaps choose a counselor that is also faith-based. If you’re atheist, you wouldn’t want a counselor that can’t see past their own spiritual beliefs.

Make this decision early so you can feel good in your heart about who you are hiring.

Ask About Their Own Personal Relationships

How is your counselor’s relationship?

Don’t feel that this is an intrusive question. You don’t need to pry into their personal business, but it is fair for you to want to know if your counselor currently has a successful marriage.

It doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker for you. But seeing if they are able to apply their expertise in real life can be helpful in choosing a counselor.