Home Love & Relationships He Isn’t An Emotionally Damaged Man, He Is Just Toxic

He Isn’t An Emotionally Damaged Man, He Is Just Toxic

he is an asshole

The funny thing about all romantic relationships is that we tend to make excuses for the bad behavior of those we love. It’s as if we want to convince ourselves that the person we’re in love with really deserves our respect, trust, and most importantly, love.

We feel naïve and stupid for loving a person we know doesn’t deserve us nor everything we do for them, and yet, our hearts refuse to face this fact and constantly try to justify their actions.

Yes, I know you can relate to every word you’ve just read. Because you’re in a relationship with this man that made some things clear from the moment your paths crossed. He made it clear that he wasn’t interested in being in a  serious relationship and that commitment meant nothing to him. He didn’t tell you this out loud, of course. But, his actions were louder than his words.

Yes, I know that you immediately sensed that this man would never love you the way you wanted to be loved.

The way you deserve to be loved.

And yet, you decided to ignore your gut feeling and surrender to him completely. You decided to allow him to turn your world upside down.

And that’s exactly what he did. He swept you off your feet. You fell deeply in love with him. You made your relationship your top priority.

And it still is. You still love him. You’re still deeply in love with him.

But, darling, how many times have you given this man second chances? How many times have you justified his sh*tty behavior? How many times have you thought to yourself, “He’s going to change. My love for him will change him. He’s different from the rest?”

But, let me tell you something: No matter how much you love him, he’s never going to change. Why?

Because he doesn’t give a damn about anything. Because he doesn’t think he needs to change.

Yes, he might have been hurt before. His heart might have been broken before. But, this doesn’t justify the way he treats you. This doesn’t justify his selfishness and crappy behavior.

Because you don’t hurt the person you love. You don’t take for granted the person who’d do anything for you. You don’t lie to the person who trusts you completely.

So, darling, why are you doing this to yourself? Why do you keep letting him hurt you? Why do you keep hoping he’ll change?

Why do you keep convincing yourself that he’s not a bad person, that he’s just emotionally damaged?

No! He’s not an emotionally damaged man, darling. He is simply toxic. He is an immature, selfish a**hole.

He’s someone who feeds your hopes with sweet words, empty promises, lies, and grandiose stories.  Someone who enjoys playing mind games. Someone who takes advantage of your kindness. Someone who can’t or doesn’t want to see your worth. Someone who is incapable of giving you the love you deserve.

But, he’s also someone who knows that you’ll always be there for him. He knows you’ll always be there to meet his needs. That’s the reason why he keeps stringing you along.  That’s the reason why he keeps feeding you crumbs of attention and love.

Darling, stop trying to justify the way he’s been treating you or find the reason for it. You need to accept the fact that some people do this, and there’s nothing you can do to change that.

Stop thinking that he loves you somewhere in the depths of his being and that he’s too afraid to let his love come to the surface.

Stop thinking that he’s just a vulnerable person who is afraid of the intensity of his love for you.

Since none of this is true.

This guy has been taking advantage of your kindness and love all along. He’s been stringing you along all along since he enjoys being loved by you. He enjoys feeling wanted, needed.

Yes, he’s been taking advantage of your kindness and love, and he’ll continue doing that.

So, stop making excuses for his sh*tty behavior. It’s time for you to look the truth in the face!

Riley Cooper