When you’re in a relationship with the man or woman you love the most, you want to be sure that the bond between you is deep, strong, and special. You want to be sure that your relationship isn’t only some chance occurrence.
But, this can turn into a serious problem for those people who consider their relationship to be perfect just the way it is and who don’t think they need to work at it.
But, is there such a thing as a perfect relationship?
No, I don’t think so. Every relationship has ups and downs. Every couple faces problems and disappointments at one time or another in their relationship.
You can never build a healthy, happy, and loving relationship if you and your significant other don’t invest significant amounts of time and energy in working at it.
So, the question is: What does working at a relationship mean?
Working at a relationship doesn’t just involve showing certain types of behavior. It involves avoiding certain negative behaviors as well. Because the truth is that very often we display behaviors unintentionally or knowingly that gradually destroy our relationships and make our love fade. Are you wondering what these behaviors are?
In what follows, we’ve presented 7 most common behaviors that can ruin even the strongest relationship.
1. Not giving your partner your full attention.
Do you attentively listen to your partner when they talk to you or do you scroll through your Facebook newsfeed? Do you carefully listen to them when they tell you how they spent their day or do you just nod your head and pretend to listen to them?
Well, if you’ve answered the first part of the above-mentioned questions with a yes, great! That means you don’t let any distraction prevent you from focusing on your partner when you’re in their company.
But, if it is the second part of the questions that you’ve answered with a yes, you might want to consider whether your partner and everything that’s going on in their life truly matter to you.
2. Being dishonest.
Unless you and your partner are always honest with each other, you’ll never be able to build a healthy, stable, and successful relationship. Keeping secrets from each other and not being a hundred percent honest about your feelings, opinions, and plans with each other all the time can ruin your relationship altogether before you can blink.
3. Constantly dwelling on your past.
Let bygones be bygones may sound like a cliché to you, but it shouldn’t. Because holding on to your past mistakes, disappointments, failures, losses, and heartbreaks can only hold you back in life and prevent you from fully devoting yourself to your partner and your relationship.
What you need to remember is that you can’t change your past. But what you can do is to learn to live with your past, thereby preventing it from ruining both your relationship and future.
4. Not showing interest in your partner’s life.
When you’re genuinely in love with someone, you show interest in their feelings, ideas, opinions, and needs. You want to find out what their interests, goals, dreams, likes, and dislikes are. You’re interested in everything that’s going on in their life.
So, if this isn’t the way you treat your partner, if you aren’t interested in their life, chances are your love for them has already faded.
5. Focusing on your flaws.
The most important thing you should remember is that if the person you’re in a relationship with truly loves you, they’ll love you for who you are. They’ll embrace and love every single thing about you. They’ll embrace your irritating habits, quirks, whims, insecurities, and fears. They’ll embrace your body imperfections and craziness. Why?
Because they know that your weaknesses and imperfections don’t define who you are. They know that your flaws are just a small part of you – a part that makes you different from the rest and special. A part that makes you look perfect to them.
6. Constantly picking fights.
Yes, every couple has disagreements. Every couple goes through hard times and fights. But, couples that are in healthy, meaningful, and happy relationships do not insult or shout at each other when they’re arguing over a relationship problem. They don’t criticize and blame each other without considering each other’s opinions first.
They know how to argue effectively. They respect each other’s opinions no matter how different they are. And most importantly, they do their best to solve their relationship problems in a mature, polite, and effective way.
7. Not treating your partner with affection.
Unless you shower your partner with attention and affection, unless you take care of their emotional needs and have deep conversations with them, and unless you help them overcome their problems, they will never know how you feel about them.
In fact, this will make your partner doubt your feelings and intentions. And once they begin doubting your feelings or wondering where your relationship is headed, chances are that your relationship will fall apart before you can blink.