The rate of divorce in the world has become exceedingly high. As per Onlinedivorce.com, in the United States of America, about one million American couples divorce each year due to unbearable circumstances and situations. Just like every American divorced couple, you may be unhappy in your marriage. Maybe the relationship isn’t as vibrant as it was before or your spouse does things that always hurt your feelings. You might also want the marriage to work once again, but your spouse doesn’t show interest in the relationship anymore.
For some couples, especially for those in a violent and high-conflict marriage. Divorcing your spouse may be the best option to let go of such unbearable relationship. However, according to some studies, most divorced couples are less happy with their lives.
How Divorce Can Physically and Emotionally Affect Adults?
As a whole, undergoing a divorce is not an easy journey. In fact, most divorced adults are not physically and mentally sound compared to married adults. In keeping with Bestlifeonline.com, divorced individuals usually face difficult conditions like:
- Depression: This usually affects divorced women because they aren’t that mentally strong enough to control their emotions and they lack enough confidence in their own abilities or self-respect. They also have lower levels of physical well-being.
- Unhappiness: Divorced individuals are always less happy. At times, they try to do something fun that would keep their minds off the broken marriage.
- Health Issues: Most divorced couples visit the hospital more often. They are more likely to suffer from serious health problems like cancer and heart disease. Divorced men and women usually experience severe changes in their weight because they are always stressed out.
- Substance Abuse: Divorced adults, especially men, mostly spend their time in close by bars and taverns. They tend to abuse drugs and they drink more alcohol than married adults. In fact, in society today, most alcoholics are usually divorcees or people having bad relationships.
- Wrong Sexual habits: Most divorced individuals, especially men, have casual sex whenever they feel lonely or want some sense of closeness. They get intimate with anybody for the sake of reducing the feeling of loneliness and unhappiness. However, substituting casual sex for closeness and intimacy can only lower your self-esteem and eventually lead to drug abuse.
Divorce can also have a negative impact on an individual’s social and religious life. Firstly, such an individual wouldn’t associate much with people in society. He or she would rather do things on their own without the help of others. This is when the feeling of loneliness creeps in. Most divorced individuals often also lose contact with family friends, in-laws and married friends. They don’t even like going to crowded places and would rather prefer to stay indoors. In most cases, especially for divorced men, they are not always in touch with their children. It is as though there is a bridge between them and their kids which is very awful. This is how divorce can have a great impact on an individual’s social life.
In the religious aspect, many individuals believe that marriage is not just some vows made at an altar but also a marital pact made with God. When couples believe that God is part of their union, they try as much as possible to fully commit to their relationship. However, when the marriage fails, then they tend to start feeling guilty for not honoring that pact they made with God.
How Divorce Can Physically and Emotionally Affect Children?
A child seeing both parents getting divorced can affect him or her deeply. Their minds are so fragile to the point that they can easily get emotionally stressed by the events happening around them. Divorce can affect children in the following ways:
- Acute Sadness: When a child realizes that both parents are separated, he or she would be extremely sad and will start to worry about how things would be like without a mom or dad. They won’t see anything fun in life anymore, and they may eventually fall into depression.
- Anxiety and Distraction: Children of divorced couples are always intense, anxious and nervous about something. They get easily distracted by trivial things and find it difficult to concentrate on their studies. An anxious child loses interest in activities that he or she once found.
- Health Problems: Divorce can cause mental health issues in children. These type of health problems often affect children between the ages of 9 and 17 years. According to some research, children of divorced parents are usually victims of psychological problems.
- Substance Abuse: Children from broken homes are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. When they feel frustrated and anxious about the situation, they take alcohol and drugs in order to feel better. However, this can only lead to more serious health problems. Adolescents are usually prone to drug abuse.
- Mood Swings and Grumpiness: They are more likely to suffer mood swings and become irritable when chatting with familiar faces. At times, they are always complaining about petty things and they hate corrections. Most of them don’t like associating much and they rather isolate themselves from happy gatherings.
- Trouble Making Friends and beginning Relationships: A child growing up with one parent because of divorce would make him or her doubt the existence of peace and harmony in a relationship. Such a child would have problems with relationships all the time and would find it difficult to make friends.
- Behavioral Problems: In society today, most children of divorced parents grow up to be violent and aggressive. They are normally arrested for numerous criminal acts and they find it very difficult to change. They easily lose their temper and show no hesitation in assaulting someone. (1)
Useful Ways to Help Your Children Cope With a Divorce
Most couples undergo a divorce without minding how it would affect their children. If you do not want your child to encounter emotional stress during this period then you can utilize the following ways to help your child cope with the disappointments of a divorce:
- Encourage them: Don’t think the situation would only affect you and your spouse. Give your children some words of encouragements, make them feel okay during and after the divorce. Your children need to know that their feelings are more important than anything else and that they would be taken seriously.
- Help Them Express Their Emotions: In most case, they tend to hide their feelings of sadness, frustration, and anger. Sit your child down, talk with him or her and try to understand the way they feel about the situation. Listen carefully to all what they have to say and try to reassure them.
- Let Them Know Their Feelings Are Valid: Let them know that whatever they feel about the situation is logical. Allow them to express themselves first before giving advice. Let them feel happy and excited about the future.
- Offer Assistance: Ask them what you could do to help in the situation and set their minds at rest. If they’re unable to say what they want after offering to help then you can suggest a few ideas that might entice them.
- Keep yourself strong and healthy: Undergoing a divorce isn’t an easy journey. You will have to keep yourself in good physical condition and try as much as possible to avoid too much stress. When you are physically fit, you would be able to look after your children and give them full attention.
- Try to Keep The Matter Private: Try to ensure privacy when you are discussing details of the separation with your lawyer, friends, and family. When you are interacting with your ex-husband, try not to misbehave or act immature and avoid saying things about the divorce in front of the kids. Keep the conflicts and quarrels far away from the children.
- Seek Guidance and Counseling: Hire a therapist for guidance and counseling. You can also find a support group, talk to others that have gone through the process and share your feelings with them. Socialize with good people including your doctors or a religious leader and keep your mood positive. This can set a good example for your kids on how to adjust to a major change. (2)