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I Am Happy With My Single Life And I Stopped Looking For Love. This Time I Am Letting Love Find Me

Lately, it seems to me as if all my friends suddenly got into relationships. Some out of love, some out of not wanting to be alone, someone because of fear that time is passing them by, and it is time to find someone. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for them. If a relationship is what it takes for them to be happy, then excellent.

As for me, I am single as a Pringle. And I am perfectly fine with it. Finally, after many, many years of being single, I can sincerely say that I have not been happier with my singleness than I am now.

Yes, I am happy and fulfilled with my life as it is now. I wouldn’t change anything. I am not saying that everything is perfect, but I stopped obsessing over things and expecting from people things I should first give to myself.

I stopped chasing after love because a love that you must chase is not true love. That’s why I stopped looking for it and instead, I decided to live my life in the most beautiful way I know. Love is still the most precious feeling for me, but I decided to stop chasing it and instead, to enjoy my life and live it with an open heart.

There isn’t anything wrong with being single. There isn’t anything wrong with focusing on yourself and taking care of you. Knowing yourself. Accepting yourself.

I stopped looking for love because I want to heal my past wounds first. I want to explore new depths of me and follow my own destiny.

I stopped looking for love because this time, I am letting love find me.

I am opening my heart for the people who are meant to be in my life to enter. I am no longer searching for love because I began living my life without following rules and other people’s opinions about what I am supposed to do with my life.

I am no longer looking for love because I learned how to be whole on my own.

In my solitude, I found happiness. I learned to love myself. I regained my confidence.

Yes, true love is still something I desire to experience, but it is not my priority. Happiness is. Joy is. Health is. Loving life is.

Me, choosing not to focus on love doesn’t mean that I am disappointed in people or that I am scared of getting hurt. No. This decision means I don’t want to have just anyone in order to be in a relationship. I am looking for the real thing. I want to have something deep, meaningful, and long-lasting. I am done with temporary relationships and short-time pleasures.

My heart is open for love, but only the kind of love that is based on trust and respect.

Until that love enters my life, I will continue choosing myself every single day.

Do Taller Men Make Women Happier?

Have you ever wondered why women prefer taller men? Of course, the main reason is that they can wear high heels anytime and anywhere, but one study suggested that women who were in a relationship with taller men were actually happier.

Is it true? Can a taller man make a woman happier?

One study from 2017 that included 7850 Indonesian participants said yes – the greater the height difference between the man and the woman is, the happier the woman will be. Of course, income has something to do with it because as it was found, taller people tend to have greater earning potential because they appear to be more confident, trustworthy and capable (3, 5).

Taller men are also seen as more attractive and they are generally more satisfied with their life (4, 6). Also, it is possible that women are genetically predisposed to like taller men because bigger men were better at hunting in ancient times and they want to feel ‘protected’ and ‘safe’ in their arms.

However, on the other hand, every person is different and there isn’t proof that shorter men cannot make women just as happy as taller men, especially if they are also attractive, happy, and successful.

Moreover, one 2010 study found that women don’t feel more valued or attractive when they are approached by a taller man as opposed to a shorter man.

After all, just look at the famous Hollywood couples like Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, Helen Lasichanh and Pharrell Williams, Behati Prinsloo and Adam Levine, and so on. These ladies seem to be very happy together with their shorter partners.

Finally, you shouldn’t let height determine the future of your relationships. Just go towards those who make you happy.

Sources:

  1. Sohn, K. (2016). Does a taller husband make his wife happier?. Personality and Individual Differences, 91, pp.14-21.
  2. Holmes, S. (2017). 19 Female Celebrities Who’ve Been With Shorter Men. [online] ELLE. Available at: http://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/g26073/female-celebs-taller-than-boyfriends/ [Accessed 6 Nov. 2017].
  3. Sohn, K. (2016). Height and happiness in a developing country. Journal of Happiness Studies, 17(1), 1-23. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10902-014-9566-8
  4. Denny, K. (2017). Are the effects of height on well-being a tall tale? Journal of Happiness Studies, 18(5), 1445-1458. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10902-016-9785-2
  5. Persico, N., Postlewaite, A., & Silverman, D. (2004). The effect of adolescent experience on labor market outcomes: The case of height. Cambridge: National Bureau of Economic Research, Inc. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.3386/w10522
  6. Swami, V., Tran, U. S., Stieger, S., & Voracek, M. (2015). Associations between women’s body image and happiness: Results of the YouBeauty.com body image survey (YBIS). Journal of Happiness Studies, 16(3), 705-718. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10902-014-9530-7
  7. Ludwig, Y. S., & Pollet, T. V. (2014). When men appear smaller or larger than they really are: Preliminary evidence that women are fooled by size illusions in attractiveness judgment tasks.Anthropological Review, 77(3), 299-329. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.2478/anre-2014-0023
  8. Stambush, M. A., & Mattingly, B. A. (2010). When being liked makes us dislike ourselves: Self-rated attractiveness as influenced by an attractive or unattractive other’s romantic interest in the self.North American Journal of Psychology, 12(2), 341-354. Retrieved from https://proxy.library.mcgill.ca/login?url=https://search.proquest.com/docview/325150812?accountid=12339

Remember, Apologies Don’t Mean Anything – Actions Do.

Don’t say you are sorry for treating me badly and then going back to treating me the same way. Your apology doesn’t count if your behavior towards me remains unchanged. It’s empty and meaningless. And it is not a reflection on your maturity, because real maturity comes from recognizing your flaws and correcting them.

I will never feel guilty for walking away from you because you have hurt me. Yes, you apologized and said you regret doing so. But you did it again. And again. And again. You kept hurting me and that is something I won’t allow anymore. Everyone has permission to walk away from someone who continues hurting them.

If someone has my best intentions at heart and really loves me, then they will correct their toxic behavior because they wouldn’t want to see me in pain.

Of course, they won’t be perfect and flawless, but they are going to be willing to work on the things that are harming our relationship. Because there is a great difference between a toxic partner who is unwilling to change and someone who has good intentions and they love you but sometimes make minor unintentional mistakes.

Because there are people who were apologizing to me just because they knew that that’s what I wanted to hear, and they thought it was the easiest way out. Yes, their apology might have been sincere, but it turned out that they only treated me better for a short period of time and they ended up going back to their old ways.

This is a common tactic of emotional manipulators. They act like they are sorry for how they treated you because they want to lure you in their life again. Therefore, they sweet-talk you and give you an illusion that they are changed until you put down your guard and then they go back to being a**holes.

So, be careful when you accept apologies. Only give people second chances if you really believe that they are capable of working on themselves and bettering themselves. Don’t lower your standards and forget about your needs just so that you can have an excuse for keeping someone in your life. Don’t hurt yourself like that.

And remember, apologies don’t mean anything – actions do!

Therefore, don’t feel bad about walking away from someone who is not deserving of your time, love, and energy.

Stop Chasing Him. You Are Hurting Yourself.

Stop chasing him and giving him power. If you are not happy and satisfied with the minimal amount of affection he is giving you, then walk away from him. Don’t let him get away with it and think it is okay to not put an effort and hurt your feelings.

Don’t do it. Don’t let him do as he pleases. Don’t let him get away with things like that. Because, if you are sticking with him you are telling him that it is okay to mistreat you.

Stop chasing him because that makes him lazy. When you chase him, he wouldn’t bother anymore to send you messages and plan dates with you. He won’t chase you back because you will do all the heavy lifting for him. Stop doing it. Stop making it so easy for him.

And the more you continue chasing him, the more you’ll resent him. You might think now that you are happy just by having him in your life, but this phase will come to an end and you’ll hate him for every ignored text or call. You’ll resent him for every date he cancels and for having the nerve to screw you over and over, especially after everything you’ve done for him.

One day you will get tired of everything. You will become exhausted to be the only one fighting for the relationship. One day, you will realize that it is not fair and that by staying in the unhealthy relationship for that long you have broken your own heart when you should have left.

Because chasing him will do just that – it will break your heart. Your self-esteem will go lower and lower. You’ll wonder constantly why you are the only one putting effort and doing everything while he can’t even remember your birthday.

By chasing him, you are subtly telling him that he can reject or ghost you and come back as if nothing happened. He can ignore you for a month and then call you and everything will be fine because he knows you will forgive him and take him back with open arms.

He knows he has you right where he wants you. He knows you are not going anywhere while you are constantly worrying whether he will leave you for someone else.

Stop doing it! Stop torturing yourself and calling it love.

Don’t be the only one who tries. Leave this toxic relationship behind and find someone who will love you and put an effort into the relationship as much as you do. Because real and healthy love is all about mutual trust, respect, compromise, and willingness to work together as a team.

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