There is a time in life when you feel perplexed and baffled. I guess, quite frequently, that happens after a breakup, and I guess it’s happened to all of us. It is puzzling to lose someone you have loved dearly but who proved to be unworthy of your love – toxic even. However, life moves on and you will eventually find someone new.
If that someone new turns out to be the one to keep, this is what you are going to think and experience:
1. TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
Obviously, you will think this is not happening. You will think that he is too good to be true, and as often as not, you may question his actions or words. You will even expect him to do the classic ghosting and leave you without closure. But the days go by and nothing like that happens. He is wonderful with you and your chemistry is stronger than ever.
2. OVERTHINKING / EXPECTING THE WORSE
After a toxic relationship, you are mistrustful of everybody just because the previous guy you dated was a douche and he put your heart on the line. You think all men are the same and you are being cynical when someone initiates the topic of love.
If you are not doing this, then you are overthinking all the possible scenarios of what could go wrong in your new relationship. Every minute now, just wait for it, you might say. You have thought of all the possible situations and all the possible outcomes beforehand, and you are just waiting for your predictions to come true.
3. JUMPING BACK
It is in our nature to think we don’t deserve the best, so when the best happens to us, we rush to sabotage it. Thus, no wonder you get mad at him over small, insignificant things and you try to push him away.
4. DOWNHILL EXPECTATIONS
After you have pushed him away, you expect him to stop calling, to stop trying. Surprisingly enough, he sticks around, apologizes and tells you he has no intention of breaking up with you. He is willing to talk the problem out and resolve everything peacefully, and that feels great, for a change.
After the fights and the rows, after how badly you treated him and how well he handled it, you now think that maybe he is better off without you. You try to mention that just to see his reaction, and also because you think you are high maintenance with your constant doubts and insecurities. Of course, he thinks you are crazy for saying that and of course, he is not going to consider that idea.
By this time, you have learned to confide in your guy a lot more and you feel more comfortable in the relationship. You outdo yourself and you give twice as much so as to compensate for his sweetness. You feel like what you are doing is not enough given that he is the perfect boyfriend in the world, and you want to prove that you recognize his efforts and everything he is doing for you.
7. UNDERSTANDING TRUE LOVE
Being in a relationship with someone who is not outright toxic has been a turning point for you. You have come to realize that you have healed in this relationship and that this relationship is the one to last for a lifetime.
You notice how much you have changed while being with the right person and you have moved past the insecurities, past the overthinking. You have moved past the fears and the challenges. Together you have lifted yourselves up. You have built your very own trust towers, and when there is no excitement, you know how to create it.