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Be Careful Who You Let In Your Life: Not Everyone Deserves Your Friendship

Be Careful Who You Trust: Not Everyone Who Smiles At You Is Your Friend

Friendships are for life, but sometimes some friendships, no matter how long, are proof that It’s really not about who you’ve known the longest, but who came into your life and not only proved to you that they’re there for you but also made you feel like you know them from a previous life.

You can say whatever you want about anything else, but when it comes to love and pure friendships, there is nothing you can say to change my mind. I have many friends. Some of them, I’ve known ever since I was a kid and some of them came into my life only a few years ago.

And you know what? My best friend, the person I can tell exactly how I feel without being afraid that I’ll be judged is a person I’ve only known for only two years. None of my childhood friends have ever understood me the way she understands me. None of those friendships have ever made me feel like this one does.

The truth is, it doesn’t really matter how long you’ve known someone. People change. Time has nothing to do with intimacy. It is the vibe that someone you love gives off that matters the most. That’s what you should trust. Nothing else.

Here are seven types of friends that aren’t really your friends:

1. The one who is always complaining. There’s nothing wrong with having the need to vent to your friend every once in a while. After all, our emotions are not always easy to handle. However, there is a thin line between venting and complaining. And I am sure that many of you out there know this. It is one thing to listen to someone get something off their chest, and quite another to get used to someone’s chronic negativity.

2. The one who disrespects you. This one goes without saying. A person who disrespects your values and beliefs is no friend of yours. A real friend would never judge you or humiliate you because of what you believe in. Always remember that.

3. The one who never grows up. The one who is stuck in their teenage years, doing absolutely nothing but partying and spending money that aren’t even theirs. Don’t get me wrong, I am not judging anyone’s way of life. We all have the right to choose what we do with our lives. But we also have the right to choose who we share our lives with. Having said that, if you feel that you’ve started outgrowing your friends, or in other words took a different, more mature path in life, you need to take a look at your friendship and reevaluate it.

4. The one whose life is a constant drama. Some people seem to enjoy their soap opera lives. I don’t know how or why, but drama seems to follow these fellas everywhere they go. If you ask me, I believe that the reason for all this is their desperate need for constant, undivided attention from people. That’s what makes them feel alive. Being seen, being heard and eventually, being consoled. It is your time and energy that they wish to take over.

5. The one likes to compete. The only thing I have to say about this friend is, stay away. Stay away from people who would literally do anything to stunt your personal development and fight you to become better than you. They don’t wish you well. And trust me, they would die to see you fail.

6. The one who always doubts you. The naysayer. The pessimist. The downer. The doubter. The ultimate killjoy. People like this wouldn’t cheer for you even if they were 100% sure you’d succeed. Their tactic is toxic because seeing you fall down lifts their spirits up. It gives them joy and power. Their ultimate goal is to strip you of your confidence until you lose all sense of self.

7. The one who brags a lot. Two words. Insecurity and vanity. Don’t ask me how those two go together. They just do. People who brag a lot know it best. They are really easy to sport. Just look for the loudest person in the room who always talk about their lives. How happy they are, how amazing their job is, how blessed their life is. Me, me, me, me. Being friends with a person like this is a constant struggle. They will never listen to what you have to say because what they have to say will always be way more important.

At the end of the day, a friend should be there to help you, inspire you, lift you up, and help you become a better person. If a person can’t do that for you, you don’t need them in your life.

Stephanie Reeds