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An Easy Guide to Understanding the BDSM Subculture

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BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission. The term refers to a variety of sexual practices, some of which are considered “extreme” by many people. Some of these practices include restraint, rule sets, and punishment play. Also common are practices that involve torture and emotional abuse.

There are a lot of misunderstandings in the mainstream about BDSM, which many believe is due to the popular film 50 Shades of Grey. BDSM is not inherently vicious and the people that enjoy it are just normal people.

This article will provide an easy guide to understanding the BDSM subculture:

Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission

BDSM is broken down into two categories: bondage and discipline and dominance and submission. BDSM play always involves two people or more. Bondage typically involves restraint, usually with handcuffs or rope. Discipline refers to the act of disciplining the person who is restrained. In BDSM relationships there is always a dominant person and a submissive person.

Dominance and submission refer to the act of giving power away to another person, who then exerts their dominance over the powerless person, the submissive. Some people practice this power dynamic full-time in their relationships. Others keep it in the bedroom.

Fantasies

BDSM play always requires a fantasy, because it is a type of roleplay. If you are interested in practicing BDSM with your partner, then you should both sit down and discuss fantasies. Exploring your interests is a good way to start planning. 

Experts recommend reading published BDSM fantasies. You can also watch BDSM porn, which is very popular online. There are also blogs, journals, and vlogs dedicated to the subject of BDSM fantasies. Often though, the best fantasies are those that you come up with yourself because they are a product of your imagination.

Equipment

BDSM can be very complex, and as such, requires equipment. At the very least, you will need sex toys, like anal beads and dildos. This is especially important if, in your relationship, you are going to have a male submissive and want to practice penetrative play. Sex toys aren’t hard to come across. You can buy adult toys online in Australia, the United States, Europe, and most other countries. Other equipment that you might need could include chains, belts, harnesses, leather masks, and whips. With all of this said, the toys that you need depend entirely upon the type of play that you’re going to practice.

Discussion

One very important thing to understand about BDSM is that, before you start, the subject requires a lot of discussion. BDSM can go to some very dark places, which for some people, can be very scary. Not everybody is interested in it. If you want to try it out, then you need to discuss it extensively with your partner and perhaps also an expert in BDSM. If your partner says that they do not want to participate, then you need to respect their decision. Some people find BDSM very uncomfortable.

Comfortable Settings

For your first time, you need to find a setting that you’re comfortable in. The chances are that your first foray into BDSM will be slightly embarrassing, but very pleasurable. You need to find a location that you are comfortable and familiar with. This is mainly so that you can explore BDSM with as little anxiety as possible.

If you try BDSM for the first time in an unfamiliar place, then you might find it uncomfortable. You want to minimise discomfort as much as possible when you try it for the first time, so you can find out if it’s for you or not.

Safewords

Because BDSM can get extreme in places, and people can get very carried away, it’s very important that you come up with a safeword. A safeword is to be used if, at any point, you find yourself uncomfortable. You should discuss your safeword with your partner beforehand so that you are both clear about it. If either of you says the word, then play must stop immediately. The safe word is there to ensure that play does not become uncomfortable or painful.

Emotional Comfort

Before, during, and after, it’s important to comfort your partner emotionally – and it’s important for them to comfort you. This is especially true if you are new to BDSM. Comfort during play doesn’t mean a hug and a kiss, however. It can be something as simple as a tap on the leg, to let the other person know that you are having fun and that you are safe.

The BDSM subculture is misunderstood, but very popular. BDSM is one of the internet’s most popular categories of porn, which reflects the world’s growing interest in it. It is a practice that is old as time itself and one that can be a lot of fun when performed safely and carefully.

Felicia Wilson