We all have dealt with individuals whose behavior was incredibly toxic to our wellbeing. The damage they have done to us is hidden in its subtlety – we haven’t seen it coming until they started to continuously hurt us.
If you want to spot a toxic person before they get a chance to lure you into their world of lies and manipulations and hurt you, here are 8 things to be aware of that are true of toxic people.
1. Their Actions Are Never Consistent
One day they are nice and sweet, and tomorrow they are not talking to you. Their charming and loving nature can swiftly turn into silent treatment without you even knowing why. That’s why you will be left wondering whether you have done something to upset them and that thought will plague your mind. They will never tell you why they are giving you the cold shoulder.
Please know that it’s not you – it’s them. They are the ones who are using these kinds of games to manipulate you and you with your emotions. Don’t let them fool you.
2. You Feel As Though You Owe Something To Them
They will do something for you, give you a present or something, but there will be feelings of guilt attached to it. They will give you something you always wanted and then they will ask you for something in return. And of course, because you’ll feel like you are in debt to them, you may agree to do something you hate doing.
The best thing you can do is to not accept gifts from them and also don’t do things you don’t want to do just because they asked you. Stand up for yourself.
3. They Project Their Feelings On You
A toxic person may turn to you and speak to you in an aggressive manner like you are the one that has a problem with them. They may even make you feel bad and you may start asking yourself what you did to make them feel like that. Of course, you didn’t do anything wrong, but they are projecting their feelings of anger and hate on you.
My advice is to let it go. If someone says something that is not true, know that it has nothing to do with you but everything to do with them. There is no need to defend yourself and give them the attention they desperately seek.
4. They Never Apologize Because, In Their Mind, They Are Never Wrong
Facts don’t mean anything to toxic people. They think they are always right and therefore, the words “I am sorry” will never come out of their mouth. They may even go as far as to blame others for their mistakes and twist the truth so much so that you won’t know what has happened in reality.
However, deep down in your heart, you know what’s the truth. Stick to it.
5. They Dampen Your Happiness And Suck Your Positive Energy
Toxic people cannot be happy about the success of other people. When you tell them that something good has happened to you, they will immediately find a way to ruin it for you. Let’s say you bought a car. The first thing they’ll say is something passive-aggressive along the lines of, “Really? I don’t think this car suits you, but if you like it, then congratulations.”
The solution? Don’t reveal things about you, cut them out from your life, and enjoy your success and happiness!
6. They Won’t Talk To You To Punish You
You may find yourself in the middle of planning an outing with them and suddenly they will go offline and turn down their phone. You won’t hear from them from days even months. In the meantime, you will drive yourself crazy trying to find out what has happened.
The truth is, they couldn’t face the situation like a mature person and so they ‘disappeared’ in order to punish you and teach you a lesson. Walk away from them and never look back.
7. Their Seemingly ‘Innocent’ Language Will Hurt Your Feelings
Toxic people are masters of using seemingly “innocent” language to hurt your feelings. They will say nice to you, but their tone will be condescending and mean.
The best defense against their snide remarks is to know your value and not be defined by their words. Don’t let them get to you.
8. They Can’t Compromise
Toxic people can never discuss issues and problem in a healthy and mature manner. They won’t solve anything because they will rather change the subject than deal with the problem at hand. Plus, they will never admit they are wrong and therefore, the word ‘compromise’ is foreign to them.
The only thing you can do is to refuse to respond to their provocations and don’t drag yourself into unnecessary drama.
Have you dealt with a person like this? Please, feel free to share with us in the comment section.